Miscellaneous: Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest...

By oreoblizzard619 - 25/09/2012 12:13 - United States

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 562

You deserved it 3 200

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Same thing different taste

By fuuuudge - 19/08/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 656

You deserved it 3 734

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 740

You deserved it 6 608

By igiveup - 21/06/2012 18:19 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 810

You deserved it 11 585

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 945

You deserved it 3 989

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 774

You deserved it 4 097

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 20:25 - United States

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 113

You deserved it 3 252

By str3tch - 03/04/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression I was as polite as possible and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 913

You deserved it 3 397

By biblepain - 28/03/2015 02:12 - United States - Tucson

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 303

You deserved it 2 222

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 762

You deserved it 6 945

By ohmylantis - 04/05/2011 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was introducing me to some business partners. As he was going along telling me their names, when he introduced me, he called me by my best friend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 239

You deserved it 3 732

perdix 29

Tuesday 25 September 2012 16:30

I'd call you Neither Noor, and you could call me Either Ore.

TheMaster15 10

Tuesday 25 September 2012 17:17

My first name is Forrest, I'm sure you can all guess what my last name usually gets to be haha

Comments

kimg0885 23

Tuesday 25 September 2012 22:09

I'm Kimbo Slice

afropuffjake 9

Tuesday 25 September 2012 22:12

Funny how impossible it is to please the potential in-laws, right?

afropuffjake 9

Tuesday 25 September 2012 22:16

Jake the snake for my middle name and my sister adopted shortening Ismael to Isma but she makes it sound like Yzma from the Emperor's New Groove -.-

hateevryone 14

Tuesday 25 September 2012 22:44

How were you a doormat? Was she bossing you around?

astoryofroses 9

Tuesday 25 September 2012 22:53

Rose the hoes :(

humorizer 14

Tuesday 25 September 2012 23:10

Mine is "douchebag". My name doesn't even sound similar to it. Weird.

tatsmcgrath 4

Tuesday 25 September 2012 23:23

Mines Tittyana

koolkat27 13

Tuesday 25 September 2012 23:30

Am I the only one who has no nickname?

Greendaycheese 12

Tuesday 25 September 2012 23:35

Why

absolutegrrr 7

Tuesday 25 September 2012 23:51

My name's Gemma and I was always Gemima Puddleduck, which got irritating to say the least..

Keywords

Embarrassing Love Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Work Bosses Capitalism You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, I was been accused of stealing lunches from the fridge at work. I’m a huge germaphobe and would NEVER eat someone else’s food, but because I’m the fattest one in the office, everyone automatically blamed me. Hashtag fatgirlproblems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 153

Today, I was bored, so I started to declutter my closet. I found a pair of jeans I hadn't worn in years and thought they'd fit. As I struggled to pull them on, the seam ripped really loud, and my cat shot out from under the bed like a spooked rocket. Apparently even my jeans feel the need to yell at me for getting too big. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 300

The Top

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 871

You deserved it 3 852

Today, I went to fetch our bins after they were collected, only to scare the child that was trying to fit inside our compost bin. Apparently, she's not allowed to play in hers because she already broke two by doing this. These bins are $75 a piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 515

You deserved it 327

Today, my parents came to visit me. I bought boxers and cologne to make it look like I had a man here. I've been single since I moved away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 968

You deserved it 28 383

Today, my sister started lactating through her shirt post-breastfeeding at a family brunch. My husband, who gets turned on by pregnant women since he gets the most action during my pregnancies, visibly ogled her at the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 995

You deserved it 727

Today, is the first weekend I have off this summer. Instead of letting me see my friends, my dad printed out a practice SAT exam. I've already taken the SAT. He just "doesn't want me to get rusty". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 934

You deserved it 3 602

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 196

You deserved it 6 270

Same thing different taste

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