Miscellaneous: Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her...

By pinkleopleurodon - 09/12/2011 12:23 - United States

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 113

You deserved it 2 579

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Same thing different taste

By merrymary - 07/01/2012 11:11 - United States

Today, I moved in with my new roommate. She's a vegetarian, and won't let me put my meat in the fridge because it will "contaminate her food". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 737

You deserved it 6 053

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 473

You deserved it 3 259

Go vegan

By Done - 24/11/2020 05:02 - Italy

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan and threw all of MY meats, cheeses, chocolates and even beans for some reason in the trash, because he "doesn't need that kind of toxic waste" in his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 121

You deserved it 88

By steve-o - 14/02/2019 15:46 - United States

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 914

You deserved it 4 195

By Carla - 12/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 810

You deserved it 441

By jitterbug - 02/01/2015 05:36 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, when my roommate asked me what was wrong, I told him that something I ate was making me feel sick. He works 10+ hours a day, and I didn't have the heart to tell him that the putrid smell of his feet was making me nauseous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 742

You deserved it 4 736

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 17 497

By sendhelp - 03/08/2015 05:31 - United States - Provo

Today, my roommates decided to do some experimental baking. To be supportive, I tried one of their creations. I've been alternating between vomiting and diarrhea for the past hour. My jaw is sore from vomiting, and I can barely muster the energy to flush between "switching sides" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 594

You deserved it 2 456

By ledon - 16/11/2011 04:15 - Canada

Today, I kindly asked my crazy roommate to move out. She answered by stuffing raw hamburger meat down all the drains in the apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 268

You deserved it 3 197

Believe her next time

By KICKxASSxNINJA - 26/09/2020 08:02 - United States - Fresno

Today, my mother bolted into my room and let out a huge fart that smelled like rotten meat because she wanted to prove a point, that she had been having intestinal problems for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 219

You deserved it 224

SirCuDi 9

Friday 9 December 2011 18:47

Buy a gas mask

Zeronos 0

Friday 9 December 2011 19:00

Call of dooty: Fart Ops.

Comments

iPhone216 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 9:15

Break part of the window?

melantysaurus 3

Saturday 10 December 2011 9:44

It will pass once she has adjusted, and realized that vegan doesn't restrict them to curried lentils.

marisadc79 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 9:53

I'd be slipping Beano into something she eats, switch the vitamins for them or something. That or invest in medical masks lol. FYL!

Kuuroneko17 2

Saturday 10 December 2011 12:07

Weird. I've been a vegetarian for four years. My farts are odorless and I know this because people have told me.

darkmis1 17

Saturday 10 December 2011 16:54

Same with me. I guess it's what we eat.

LullzKitteh 1

Saturday 10 December 2011 17:40

make sure you open up that window asafp, op! you don't want to suffocate!

angryoriental 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 17:51

So shit in her room... Course with her havin gas that might not even bother her

bubo_fml 10

Saturday 10 December 2011 19:48

Make your room mate tie a pillow over her bum as a makeshift fart filter...

Rjp1995 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:17

Piss in her mouth in her sleep. She'll stop..

ziphii 6

Sunday 11 December 2011 6:14

Where the heck do you live where you can open a window at night? It's like 5 degrees F overnight here!

Hulabaloola 0

Monday 12 December 2011 17:31

There's a simple solution. Put a lighted candle near her rectum. Let's see what catches fire at night.

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You deserved it 83 885

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I agree, your life sucks 11 403

You deserved it 41 169

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Same thing different taste

Go vegan

Believe her next time

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