By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 422
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

remix3211 0

Yeah, that's terrible and regardless of your pain, that should not have happened. However, another perspective. I certainly don't remember my first word. Just condition it out.

0 7
pennamay 11

I only meant to say "I agree your life sucks."

0 3
Bullheard 0

hahaha thats funny but hey, atleast her first word is th same as mine and it will be cool to tell your frends how you had a cool first word:)

0 2
perdix 29

If you can get her second and third words to be MY and LIFE, respectively, you could get Didi to pay for her college. Not to mention the eTrade commercials!

43 1
SadinSherman 16

You haven't been on FML very long have you

16 0
cmac86 23

My first word was almost asshole, at least according to my mom. I'm pretty normal, except that I'm on here.

0 2
blazingdaily 3

66 - if you don't know who he is, then I think you're able to be classified as 'retarded' He is one of the top 3 commenters next to: Every1luvsboners and Perdix Good day you deprived child... :'(

11 5
PeachyJinx 7

For the idiots saying "watch your mouth"..... seriously shut the **** up -___- . I don't think anyone takes the time to rationalize what's coming out their mouth when they're in pain. >_> Stubbing your toe hurts like a bitch, so I commend him on the fact that's all he said.

16 2
ItsYourMamaDoe 0

Just no 97. If you are in enough pain then you will scream whatever comes out first and not pay mind to who is surrounding you. It's an involuntary act.

9 2
mattmadden 0

97- How would saying fudge be any better? You'd teach a bunch of kids to be smart asses and they'd think they can get away with saying it.

6 1
DocBastard 38

Ayame - since she hadn't started talking yet, I didn't think it would be an issue. This episode is just one of the innumerable things I've learned from my kids. Most of these things can be summed up quite simply: Children will ALWAYS surprise you. :)

23 0
xStaciexLynnx 15

Yeah but when you know you're around a child... Some people are good at censoring what they say and others aren't. Don't act like the people who watch what they say are horrible.

1 12
neonberries 15

That'll be fun to explain when she's at nursery in a year screaming '****' at all the other kids.

3 2
VoteForTaco 8

When I read : After rocking my one-year old daughter. I thought you were talking about something diffrent e_O

0 0