By DocBastard - 17/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 422
You deserved it 6 543

DocBastard tells us more.

DocBastard 38

Akai, the only people who say that are people who don't have kids. My 2 children are the most precious things in my world, and I've smiled more since my daughter was born than in all my previous years combined. I truly feel sorry for people who think like you.

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Top comments

every1luvsboners 11

You do seem to be in quite a jam. I would definitely call a toe-truck. Holy Shat it's Doc!!!

244 9
talldude4u 3

Remember those parrots that repeat what you say, small children are very much like them.

150 4

Comments

yuri63f6 7

Sounds like something from "Meet the parents".

1 3
Acaprice14 9

Reminds me of Jay and Silent Bob "****" song.

6 1
old09 11

Your kid is going to be a total badass

0 2
IKickPuppiesHard 16

Well since we know you comment are you going to comment on your own fml? Hmmmmm?!

0 18
xHarleyQuinnx 0

Don't you mean 'truck' ;) Woo 100th comment

0 3
DocBastard 38

For the record this happened about 4 years ago. My daughter is 5 now and soaring, and she has no recollection of this, obviously. We were able to un-teach her somehow, and her "real" first word was Daddy. :)

12 0
RainbowHeadache 2

Do you have more than one daughter, Doc? I feel like a year or so ago a lot of us were telling you congratulations on your baby. Maybe time is just getting away from me.

0 0
DocBastard 38

No, but I have a son who is 8 months old now.

4 0
RainbowHeadache 2

Must have been him. My brain doesn't work most of the time. How's that toe?

1 0
DocBastard 38

It healed up just fine, thanks. This happened over 4 years ago. The "Today" isn't quite accurate in a lot of these FMLs.

3 0
RainbowHeadache 2

I always wonder how old some of these FMLs are. I know you said four years in your original post but you never know it could have fallen off for some reason so I figured I'd ask. Haha

1 0
bakesale45 0

I wish that was mine that or bitch

0 7
CoolRainbowdash 15

It's DocBastard!!

4 4
mbuck87 19

I call bullshit on the kid repeating it.

0 1
DocBastard 38

Do you? Do you really? Frankly I'm surprised it took up until comment #117 before someone accused this of being fake. I'll ask you this - were you there? Gosh, you WEREN'T? Because *I* was. So unless you had a hidden camera in my daughter's room, I would politely request that you shut your ******* pie hole. And if you DID have a camera in her room, I would suggest you kill yourself before I find you.

13 0
darkmis1 17

If that's her first word, then it's definitely not the first time she's heard it. You should watch your mouth around your kid.

1 13
xStaciexLynnx 15

Not true. Kids are fantastic at picking up what you DON'T want them to learn. Say daddy to them a million times and it won't stick. Say **** once... You're done.

12 2