Miscellaneous: Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush...

By Jess - 05/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 75 037

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 11:35 - United States - Imperial

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 329

You deserved it 27 973

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 522

Sussy baka

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 5 975

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

Nature isn't healing

By my butt is lava - 19/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Custer

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 193

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 411

You deserved it 32 295

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 319

By poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 549

You deserved it 52 003

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 6 961

On the run

By broussimousse - 10/03/2009 20:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 062

You deserved it 32 621

Osmness 0

Monday 5 December 2011 8:37

The question is... Why were you running from the cops?

abbytequiere 9

Monday 5 December 2011 8:37

And that is why you must look before you leap...

Comments

Squeaknique 2

Monday 5 December 2011 8:44

Guess you were in a bit of a......*puts on shades*.....Prickly Situation!..........YEAAAAAAA!!

tinysocks 11

Monday 5 December 2011 13:53

Brilliant!

randomail44 0

Friday 23 December 2011 1:05

U r god!

BradenLock 4

Monday 5 December 2011 8:46

I cannot honestly believe this was posted as an FML........

quimbi 3

Monday 5 December 2011 8:48

I don't think he was talking about the bush. I think he's trying to say A man pricked him in the county jail shower.

DrOfTheInternet 6

Monday 5 December 2011 8:49

I think a prison shower would have been more painful...

lil_ham1644 29

Sunday 25 January 2015 7:11

I assumed that was what he meant; that he got caught & had a "prison shower."

suavesuave 2

Monday 5 December 2011 8:55

Am afraid to ask why you were running from the cops...

AnnaMarieGoodson 3

Monday 5 December 2011 8:55

At least you didnt get sprayed by pepperspray, that would have been an even more painful shower!

geon_olam 17

Monday 5 December 2011 8:57

bet it wasnt as painful as a shower in prison

MerkathonPro 0

Monday 5 December 2011 8:59

I bet you got poked on the ass, and dropped the soap!

FYLDeep 25

Monday 5 December 2011 9:00

That's why I just carry a bag of donuts with me. I can just throw them out on the ground to distract the cops in the event they begin chasing after me.