Miscellaneous: Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush...

By Jess - 05/12/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, as I was running from the cops I jumped behind a bush to hide. Turns out it was a massive thorn bush. I later had the most painful shower I have ever experienced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 75 037

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/07/2014 11:35 - United States - Imperial

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 329

You deserved it 27 973

When you gotta go, you gotta go

By Amanda Howard - 15/03/2020 09:00

Today, I came home after being stuck in traffic needing to pee really badly. When I went to the bathroom, my boyfriend was on the toilet. I couldn't hold it longer, so I went into the woods behind our house and found a bush. Relieving myself, my butt started to itch. I was sitting in poison ivy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 522

Sussy baka

By black hoodie - 19/05/2013 23:07 - United States - Shrewsbury

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 168

You deserved it 5 975

By Anonymous - 31/08/2014 17:51 - United States

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 516

You deserved it 3 876

Nature isn't healing

By my butt is lava - 19/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Custer

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 193

By Anon - 24/03/2012 02:42 - United States

Today, while hiking and wearing sandals, I stubbed my toe. This wouldn't have been so bad had it not been into a cactus with 3 inch thorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 411

You deserved it 32 295

Ouch!

By Anonymous - 23/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I took a piss while doing yard work. Later, to my horror, I discovered that I had touched poison oak at some point. My penis is now blistered and swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 319

By poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 549

You deserved it 52 003

By Broderick - 26/03/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I was hiking, and four miles away from my car and civilization, I tripped over a rock into a cactus. I used duct tape, which ripped all the hair off my arms and legs but ignored the spikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 076

You deserved it 6 961

On the run

By broussimousse - 10/03/2009 20:42 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a run with this cute guy I know. I was sweating untractively and profusely so I decided to discretly grab a leaf from a tree and wipe my face with it. A bird had done the same with his ass few minutes ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 062

You deserved it 32 621

Osmness 0

Monday 5 December 2011 8:37

The question is... Why were you running from the cops?

abbytequiere 9

Monday 5 December 2011 8:37

And that is why you must look before you leap...

Comments

afulks78 11

Monday 5 December 2011 9:03

Ydi... Convict

Capt_Oblivious 10

Monday 5 December 2011 9:03

So, was the painful shower at home or in jail shower? Either way a prick could have gotten you in the ass. Not enough specifics here.

rogerusmc23 0

Monday 5 December 2011 9:10

Don't drop the soap...

NullPointer 20

Monday 5 December 2011 9:19

I hope you didn't do anything to deserve being chased by the cops...

ChaosAngel17 14

Monday 5 December 2011 9:48

*Points to FML* Can you please read it again?

youshitme 9

Monday 5 December 2011 10:14

It's not necessarily that obvious. It depends where they are, they may have been chasing them to screw them over or blackmail them into giving them a bribe. There are a lot of arsehole cops in the world.....