Intimacy: Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having...

By DisturbedMan - 15/01/2014 22:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 156

You deserved it 5 956

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Same thing different taste

By glittercat - 26/01/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 264

You deserved it 3 323

By Anonymous - 03/01/2009 16:48 - France

Today, I can hear my parents having sex in the next room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 692

You deserved it 4 395

By Anonymous - 06/02/2011 19:38 - United States

Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 086

You deserved it 3 527

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 634

You deserved it 4 984

Noise complaint

By scarred - 27/07/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 104

You deserved it 3 956

By frenchpop1960 - 23/02/2009 21:58 - United States

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 376

You deserved it 41 855

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 298

You deserved it 6 253

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

By Anonymous - 06/09/2019 20:03

Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 181

My ears!

By PoorMe - 22/02/2013 13:06 - United States

Today, I muted the TV just in time to hear my mom yell at my dad about how their sex life is "non-existent". FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 648

You deserved it 4 732

By screamer - 02/09/2012 06:41 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 957

You deserved it 38 512

StefanKa 23

Thursday 16 January 2014 10:28

Well, if your dad us hung like a horse she's a lucky woman. Be happy for them and next time put on headphones ;)

junkman6 22

Thursday 16 January 2014 10:29

Well they say what's in the jeans is passed down in the genes. I'd say having a horse **** isn't such a bad thing OP.

Comments

JoseIsAdork 31

Saturday 18 January 2014 7:12

oh god, yes seabiscuit, 100 times yes!

cmac86 23

Saturday 18 January 2014 9:58

would I like to be in this situation? neigh!

notmyday1 4

Saturday 18 January 2014 16:34

Just cry

D3ADSN1P3R 2

Sunday 19 January 2014 3:45

naaaaaayyyyy bitches

Natoya 1

Sunday 19 January 2014 13:46

Baby invest in some loud music and a pair of headphones or some serious earplugs.

ilovemyrickyboy 7

Wednesday 22 January 2014 5:55

ya big is always better :) and its good if yr hot to

AgentPlatypus73 8

Wednesday 22 January 2014 23:06

Find someone to do the same thing to. And make sure your mom can hear :)

lifes_a_b1tch 7

Thursday 23 January 2014 23:15

You couldn't leave? Or put in earbuds, turn up the tv...something? You kinda deserve it for continuing to listen once you knew what was going on.

nbxo 5

Friday 24 January 2014 4:51

Pffttt... AHAHAAAHAA

buckeyrussell 3

Friday 24 January 2014 6:16

Beats by dre baby

Keywords

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Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 80

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 857

You deserved it 7 517

The Top

Today, during our championship field hockey game, my mouthguard fell into a mass of geese poop. The referee made me put it back in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 441

You deserved it 4 833

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 712

You deserved it 5 196

Today, I have killed at least several dozen flies over the course of the past few days. My cat, who used to be a fly killing machine, isn't doing shit to help me. She's not old or fat or anything, she's just lazy. Meanwhile, I had to go buy a water bottle with a cover to keep flies from going into my drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 713

You deserved it 245

Today, while eating dinner with my family, I found out my boyfriend recorded me screaming while having sex with him on my phone, and set it as my ring tone on high volume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 815

You deserved it 6 164

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 229

You deserved it 877

Today, my friend dragged me out of a movie because they swore a bit and there was drug use. Apparently, she's a Mormon now, and, "doesn't want her values compromised." This from the same girl who tried to get me to try crack a few weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 775

You deserved it 236

Same thing different taste

Noise complaint

Isn't it ironic, don't you think?

My ears!

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