Kids: Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the... - FML

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 566

You deserved it 4 004

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Same thing different taste

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 660

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 223

You deserved it 9 647

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 273

You deserved it 6 679

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 982

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 835

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 446

Next

Top comments

CreamGravy 36

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:51

I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"

Welshite 39

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:49

Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.

Comments

SpaceFinn 13

Thursday 12 February 2015 1:22

What you should have said afterwards was "not with you."

alexandrarae 13

Thursday 12 February 2015 1:32

Your boyfriend is an idiot, if he thinks being hit in the crotch with a paint ball in anyway compares to giving birth.

makkarari 18

Thursday 12 February 2015 4:02

I was thinking the same thing. After giving birth to three kids, I don't think there is any pain comparable to bringing a new life into the world. That being said, there is no greater blessing!

17031990 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 1:35

You should shoot him in the balls and make is so he is unable to have children!

jaimejager 3

Thursday 12 February 2015 2:02

And the dbag of the week award goes to ...

Glasshoney 9

Thursday 12 February 2015 2:18

You should've shot him in the dick and asked if he still wants ********! ???

123234345456 1

Thursday 12 February 2015 2:41

Lol

pandalover69 26

Thursday 12 February 2015 2:44

While crying out in paid I'd yell "Not with you!"

janfleury 19

Thursday 12 February 2015 2:51

Answer: Yes, but not with you. Then shoot him there.

coraline123c 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 3:20

As they all say "all is fair in love and paintball"

exuberant_orange 17

Thursday 12 February 2015 4:00

You should shoot his crotch back and ask "Still want sex now?"

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, my best friend called me to cancel our mall plans. I could hear that she was watching a movie in the background. I then called my boyfriend to see if he was busy, and I could hear the same movie in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 313

You deserved it 157

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 131

The Top

Today, I ran out of clean underwear and uncovered the pile of lingerie in the back of the drawer, none of which had been worn in over a year. Thanks, laundry day, for reminding me of how single I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 061

You deserved it 588

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 6 694

Today, a couple yelled at me and reported me to the homeowner association for "watching them make out" at the pool. I'm the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 704

You deserved it 293

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 469

You deserved it 83 218

Today, I thought I was on mute during a virtual watch party, and it's only after the third or fourth flappy fart that someone pointed this fact out to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 276

You deserved it 898

Today, I met my SO's best friend for the first time. He gave us both a big smile and hug, and congratulated us on the pregnancy. Except… I'm just overweight, not pregnant. The entire two hour drive to his house was spent with me trying to hold back tears, and a very awkward silence between them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 269