Kids: Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the... - FML

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 566

You deserved it 4 004

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Same thing different taste

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 660

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 223

You deserved it 9 647

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 273

You deserved it 6 679

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 982

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 835

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 446

Next

Top comments

CreamGravy 36

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:51

I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"

Welshite 39

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:49

Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.

Comments

fabcade 14

Thursday 12 February 2015 4:43

wow what a jerk. leave him. what he did could and should be considered abuse.

KBear3109 29

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:17

That IS abuse, how can no one see that?!

KBear3109 29

Saturday 14 February 2015 3:53

So if I kick my husband in the balls and make a joke about it that makes it okay because I was just joking? It's called assault!

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:24

If my boyfriend did that to me, I would shoot him in the dick about 5 times.

PrincessLily8402 11

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:25

I hope you shot him five times in the nuts!

feven 32

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:29

"You know what. Let's adopt instead sweetie. As soon as possible."

game0ver_fml 18

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:33

I would have taken a couple of steps back, and blasted one right at his mouth, then be like, "You still want blow jobs?" (Assuming you aren't using a super high velocity gun. Not trying to do any permanent damage.)

luststarrr 22

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:36

A dude with that little respect for the vag shouldn't be allowed near it. Ever.

Zetaglobin 5

Thursday 12 February 2015 5:37

Shoot him in the balls

Nina825 21

Thursday 12 February 2015 6:25

Shot back at him by saying "not from you"

angelofsaturn 23

Thursday 12 February 2015 6:27

His all access vag pass has been revoked. He didn't damage anything did he OP?

missbrit818 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 6:44

Oh wow... That had to hurt. That was rude of him, sorry op!

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Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 473

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, the framed memorabilia that I spent $195 on last week came crashing to the floor. It was on my wall for less than 2 hours. The picture is torn and the glass is shattered, but at least the frame is alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 937

You deserved it 607

Today, the dentist told me I needed to have two of my wisdom teeth on opposite ends of my mouth pulled. I suppose a liquid diet won't be all that bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 671

You deserved it 149

Today, I had the front door open, and my cat Watson, who I often call Little Boy, was sitting in front of the screen door. I wanted to close the door so, speaking to my cat, I said, "Come here, Little Boy," at which point a young child came running up to my door. His dad yelled, "Get back here!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 229

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 088

You deserved it 3 304

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 172

You deserved it 2 094

Today, my date took me to visit his farm. As we were walking, a wild rabbit darted past me and startled me. I tripped and fell face first into cow dung. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 734

You deserved it 2 734