Kids: Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the...

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 566

You deserved it 4 004

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Same thing different taste

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 080

You deserved it 6 013

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 803

You deserved it 3 660

By CatLady - 06/01/2014 19:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I brought up the subject of marriage with my boyfriend. His response was to shoot me with a nerf gun and laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 223

You deserved it 9 647

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 513

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 273

You deserved it 6 679

By walllflower - 08/02/2015 19:46 - Canada - Saint Catharines

Today, I went paintballing with my siblings. Once we were done, they realised I hadn't been shot at all. They cornered me in the forest and lit me up. I have welts all over my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 025

You deserved it 4 389

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 982

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 794

You deserved it 25 010

By Anonymous - 24/01/2017 18:00

Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 928

You deserved it 835

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 695

You deserved it 54 446

CreamGravy 36

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:51

I hope the answer is, "Yes, but with someone else"

Welshite 39

Wednesday 11 February 2015 23:49

Unload your clip at his crotch. Fair is fair.

Comments

Gorebabee17 10

Thursday 12 February 2015 7:34

Damn, that's ****** up.

VampOfSavannah 31

Thursday 12 February 2015 8:29

That's a shitty thing to do, and he's a shitty excuse for a boyfriend. Judging by his actions, it sounds like he's the one who doesn't want kids. There are better and more mature men out there, who are much more respectful!

Alastrina_fml 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 8:58

Grade A asshole.

Mr_Saikaly 35

Thursday 12 February 2015 11:25

what an asshole your boyfriend is. sorry for that

pcgwm 13

Thursday 12 February 2015 11:40

I really hope you did that to him aswell.. then maybe he won't be able to. lmao

chosha_fml 26

Thursday 12 February 2015 12:39

Sure you do. Perhaps not with him...

dreamful_artist 14

Thursday 12 February 2015 13:38

I mean it's only fair to return the favor now!

vikky538 28

Thursday 12 February 2015 13:49

do the same and ask this question..."will you be able to have kids now?"

bgon1350 4

Thursday 12 February 2015 16:18

look at the up side. now he can go down and kiss it to make it all better.

kalbrek009 20

Thursday 12 February 2015 17:10

Throat punch, then ask if your friend "still likes breathing"?

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 661

You deserved it 3 777

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 195

The Top

Today, someone actually thought it was appropriate to compare my mother's death to the death of their cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 305

You deserved it 3 366

Today, I invited a guy over for some quick fun. I had the TV on for some background noise. I couldn't see the TV the way I was facing but he could. I didn't realize until he left that I had a true crime series on the whole time. What bothers me the most is that he definitely wasn't turned off by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 402

Today, my ex called to ask me to pick up our kids, because she'd scored a hot date and didn't have time, and then didn't answered the phone over the next two hours. I live 80 miles away and have no idea what school they go to, since they moved to a new city. How the fuck did the judge give her full custody? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 202

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 522

You deserved it 3 454

Today, we wrote valentine's day poems in class. I wrote a very depressing poem about how I was rejected by all the girls I like and how it hurt to be alone. When it was read to the class, they laughed and told me it was hilarious. Even the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 93

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 257

You deserved it 5 688

Same thing different taste

Ballshot

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