Intimacy: Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It...

By Sue Ellen - 21/04/2014 15:43 - United States - Providence

Today, at my wedding, my husband stood up to give a speech. It started out beautiful, until he told everyone how he started to fall in love with me after I blew him on our first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 418

You deserved it 15 328

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. I gave a speech about the first time my wife and I met. I said I knew she was the perfect woman for me and it was love at first sight. I looked to my right as she stormed off and then realized I had told a story about my ex-girlfriend who was sitting in the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 241

You deserved it 93 790

I'm happy for you, but…

By OnlyMee - 09/07/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, at my ex's wedding, I had to listen to his joyful recounting of how he met his bride and how they fell instantly in love and he knew she was perfect for him. All this happened while we were still dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 882

You deserved it 9 984

By jacey chreyest - 14/02/2014 21:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I married the love of my life. I was ecstatic until the wedding reception, where my new husband got drunk and started crying about how he'd been "forced" into marrying me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 801

You deserved it 5 013

Duh…

By Anonymous - 29/09/2009 02:53 - Canada

Today, was my wedding day and I had been preparing my speech for my husband for about 3 months. At the wedding, I poured my heart out to him. Did he do the same? My husband forgot about it and right before the wedding, took his from his first marriage and changed the name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 082

You deserved it 4 186

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 639

You deserved it 12 266

Romantic gestures

By Anonymous - 11/06/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, at my wedding, when my husband heard, "You may now kiss the bride!" he swung me down romantically and was about to plant one on me when his arm slipped, causing me to fall on the floor hitting my head, and getting a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 155

You deserved it 4 483

The show must go on!

By Stuckwiththebill - 28/01/2018 01:30

Today, during my wedding ceremony, the groom-to-be found it appropriate to blurt out about an ongoing affair with my maid of honor. They got married instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 638

You deserved it 438

By Anonymous - 08/08/2009 19:01 - United States

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 526

You deserved it 4 718

By hannaholic - 03/07/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, I went on an excellent first date. After the 'end of the date kiss' came, "I suppose this is where I tell you that I'm married." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 533

You deserved it 4 915

Classic Jeff

By Anonymous - 02/02/2017 18:00 - United States - Peru

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband decided it would be a good idea, when he was supposed to do his speech, to stand up and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Genitals. That is all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 963

You deserved it 1 560

misterspock 16

Monday 21 April 2014 21:52

I think you blew this out of proportion.

Brelywi 15

Monday 21 April 2014 21:54

Damn, you must give one helluva ********.

Comments

JKW35 21

Monday 6 July 2015 14:50

That must have been a sucky speech.

aaashketchum 21

Sunday 21 May 2017 7:30

That's the kind of things I worry about for my wedding... all of that tmi!

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend, for our first time having sex, wanted to do stepbrother roleplay. Not only is that odd for our first time, it’s a weird fetish to have, especially when she actually does have a stepbrother. We ended up not finishing having sex, it was too weird for me FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 279

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 80

The Top

Today, I walked too close to a first-aid kit sticking out of a wall at work, and it cut my arm. Laughing at the irony, I opened it to get a band aid out. It was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 867

You deserved it 2 824

Today, my mom demanded that I go into the basement and fix the water heater. I told her that I had no idea how to fix it, so she threw my phone down the stairs, told me to Google it, and locked the basement door behind me. It's been two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 824

You deserved it 3 230

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 058

You deserved it 2 845

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 213

You deserved it 5 155

Today, my husband got home and shouted he had a surprise for me. I shouted back that I hoped it was his tasty knob with strawberry lube. Nope, he'd picked up my grandparents for a visit now social isolation is being relaxed. They might be in their 80’s but they’re not deaf, unfortunately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 892

You deserved it 880

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 973

You deserved it 43 649