Work: Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's...

By Lunazel93 - 22/10/2012 04:07 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 451

You deserved it 1 917

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Same thing different taste

By StickyWicket - 14/05/2019 18:00

Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 130

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 521

You deserved it 2 188

By Anonymous - 10/10/2013 05:25 - United States - Long Beach

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 445

You deserved it 3 223

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 186

You deserved it 7 769

By RockedSystem - 22/04/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 490

You deserved it 5 902

WTF?

By Shane - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was dry-walling a house when my butt started to itch. I bent over to scratch it on a piece of plywood, at which point the client's wife walked in and asked what the fuck I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 237

You deserved it 32 636

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 114

You deserved it 158

Treat yourself!

By Anonymous - 07/05/2023 10:00

Today, I'd planned on treating myself to a spa day. I'd booked a massage and was so relaxed that I fell asleep during it. When I woke up, I realized that I had drooled all over the massage table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 670

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 14:22 - United States

Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 714

You deserved it 4 023

Dude, WTF?

By truckstopworker - 27/04/2017 02:00

Today, while working at my truck stop, I helped a trucker check his tires. He seemed like a pretty nice guy, and we chatted for a bit. After he took off and I walked back inside, I went to clean the shower he was in before. Turns out he took a shit on the floor. His wife had been in there with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 941

You deserved it 356

mandyk5918 12

Monday 22 October 2012 12:01

That's sooo gross!!!!

TayrawrTMD 7

Monday 22 October 2012 12:01

Sounds like a shit job

Comments

tattoo88 4

Monday 22 October 2012 17:15

Damn take a shower nasty ass bastard!!

MuseFan1991 14

Monday 22 October 2012 17:27

considering bacne is a valid reason to not massage someone, i think you were perfectly within your rights to refuse to massage that area OP. acky

annagilbert 6

Monday 22 October 2012 17:35

as a massage therapist myself, you can tell em **** you get off my table. lol

alycion 38

Monday 22 October 2012 17:54

Ick. Not that shit stains on my back is something I have going wrong, but before most doctor appts and before massage and acupuncture appts, I take a shower. Just seems like a common courtesy.

xalba 9

Monday 22 October 2012 22:41

Your puppy is so adorable :D

awkward_gothlady 32

Monday 22 October 2012 18:10

Does he really have that little self-respect? If, by some bizarre twist of fate, there was shit all over my back and I was completely unaware of it until the person about to massage me pointed it out to me, I'd be the most embarrassed, apologetic person you'd ever heard of and get my sorry ass out of the spa and into the comfort of my shower.

Sanrio90 8

Monday 22 October 2012 18:23

I would have refused service to this pig who clearly never learned how to wipe his own ass. Suggest him some potty training DVDs and send him on his way.

NorthernGrizzMN 0

Monday 22 October 2012 18:44

I would tell captain skid mark to get off my table

Michelley44 5

Monday 22 October 2012 19:01

After you massage his low-back, promptly turn him around to massage his face. If he's okay with it being all over your hands, he should be fine with it being all over his face.