Work: Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall...

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 063

You deserved it 3 580

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Same thing different taste

By RckRagman - 30/04/2009 14:55 - United States

Today, 3 of the 4 stalls were occupied in the rest room. I took the 4th stall. Upon sitting, I let out one of the longest, loudest farts I have done in a long time. Next, I hear "Hey, how's it going?". I was CORRECTLY identified by a co-worker hearing me fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 255

You deserved it 11 492

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 479

You deserved it 141

Sneaky

By Shamed - 06/09/2011 08:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 614

You deserved it 4 964

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 114

Pissed

By Anonymous - 19/11/2023 03:00 - Cayman Islands - George Town

Today, at work, I had to use the bathroom to urinate. It's basically in an open plan office, so everyone can hear absolutely everything. After successfully and discreetly doing my business, I noticed a bit of dirt on the wall. I gave it a rub with my thumb on the smooth tile. It sounded exactly like a loud fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 350

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 612

You deserved it 4 741

By dani - 25/03/2014 03:39 - United States - Dayton

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 039

You deserved it 13 625

By missmcfarty - 01/04/2016 01:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I found out that my CEO knows my name, when she followed me into the bathroom and called it out in a disgusted tone when I farted so loudly, she could hear it from four stalls over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 353

You deserved it 2 696

Check her out

By minnie - 28/08/2009 18:30 - United States

Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 806

You deserved it 6 906

Shut up!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 980

You deserved it 11 230

steadycreepin 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:26

Awkward...

th4m4ster 6

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:27

and u didnt think of punching his face ?

Comments

ScarletBloom 14

Tuesday 27 September 2011 7:51

Be more weird to scare the hell out of him.

ElekktroBoo 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:10

I woulda hit his face..

Im2Handsom 1

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:44

Should of tea-bagged him.

fylasmuchasmine 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:49

Retard - 136.

alex1432 9

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:52

Irrational

Iamnotyourmom 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 8:59

LMAO this FML actually made me laugh.

jameyn 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 9:26

I'd say the Guy wanted to look at your ass .. or why else would someone look under the stale if someone is taking a shit?

starlight1990 5

Tuesday 27 September 2011 11:26

Defintely should have punched them.

underguarded 20

Tuesday 27 September 2011 11:36

Should have kicked his face.

QOD 0

Tuesday 27 September 2011 12:32

WTF

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 10 668

You deserved it 39 753

Today, myself and my pug entered a novelty dog competition at the local fair. We won first prize in the lookalike contest. FML

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You deserved it 251

The Top

Today, I found out that, given the correct velocity, a used condom can actually fly through a tiny window and slap you on the leg. I also found out that when you go to the window to yell at the perpetrator, they might have more ammunition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 870

You deserved it 4 017

Today, I was in an online meeting when my cat decided to say hello. To do this, he walked in front of my screen, completely obscuring it in his fur. He then logged me out of the meeting by walking across the keyboard. Three times. Every time I tried to pick him up to make him stop, he got upset and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 422

Today, I’ve been horny for weeks on end. Because I’m on antidepressants, I can’t orgasm, so the horniness won’t go away. The only thing I do is go to the gym, where literally EVERYONE seems fuckable. While I’m not depressed anymore, my vagina is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 549

You deserved it 180

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were messing around and I always jokingly say, "You're adopted, nobody loves you!" to everybody. His reply, "That's pretty fucked up, I am adopted." He really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 674

You deserved it 76 848

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 128

You deserved it 42 619

Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, he asked which girl I'd found out about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 3 679