Intimacy: Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally...

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 22:18 - United States

Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 735

You deserved it 5 684

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Same thing different taste

By JayFri - 06/06/2011 17:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex in his car. He got out of the car and moved to the passenger seat with me. As he shut the door, it slammed against my fingers, breaking one of them. He then asked if we could still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 487

You deserved it 7 255

Cockblocked

By AudreyUs - 10/12/2008 19:31 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 719

You deserved it 18 487

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 059

Alexa, play "Love in a Car" by The House of Love

By manymisfortunes - 04/10/2014 05:43 - Canada - Lachine

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have a quickie in the car. We had left a window open so it wasn't too hot, and I was holding onto the edge of the window, fingers hanging over. In the midst of it all, my boyfriend managed to close the window by hitting the button. My finger is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 173

You deserved it 12 523

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 11 463

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 257

You deserved it 37 892

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 206

You deserved it 20 251

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 3 184

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 211

You deserved it 26 152

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 451

You deserved it 46 016

littlegolferboy 4

Monday 2 November 2009 2:47

So your first time together was going to be in the back of your car. That's so classy. You probably had a top hat and monocle on at the time, didn't you?

perdix 29

Monday 2 November 2009 1:41

Connect Four? Is that where you do 69 and finger each other's assholes? That's four connections, right? A bit awkward and not to my liking, but a pretty fair alternative to screwing.

Comments

coffee_addict7 0

Monday 2 November 2009 14:20

So... your only options were to put your penis in her ******, or not touch her at all?

FHGrif 0

Monday 2 November 2009 15:05

This a MLIA not an FML

twirlingqueen4u 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 6:15

what does MLIA stand for

DippinGrizzly907 27

Saturday 11 October 2014 23:36

Let's use that weird grey matter up in our heads to think a wee bit... If FML stands for **** My Life what do you think MLIA stands for? The M&L are the same as FML. So it's My Life so far. I'll give you a second to figure it out all on your lonesome... And the IA stands for (drum roll please).... Is Awesome!!! So 'My Life Is Awesome' is the answer! You can go back to not using your grey matter now :) FML will now self-destruct in 10...

Subjectzero 0

Monday 2 November 2009 18:00

you couldn't be assed to just go get a new one?

CallMeHush 0

Monday 2 November 2009 18:33

Connect 4 is awesome !

jordynf10 0

Monday 2 November 2009 22:33

what is connect four????????

staymintyfresh 13

Monday 7 November 2011 18:52

What planet do you like on?

teenagedream13 1

Wednesday 25 January 2012 5:51

*live

tigerg33 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 0:21

lmao connect four? you couldnt go to a store nearby and buy more condoms? guess you didnt really want sex.

S3A82 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 2:30

Why does this sound like an MLIA?

ScaryyMary 14

Tuesday 3 November 2009 21:39

I was thinking the same thing :S

jw90 18

Tuesday 3 November 2009 4:59

pussy is like a pair of shoes. try it on to see if it fits. but don't cum in it so you can't give it back. learn from that.

ForgottenRemix0 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 19:28

haha, 3 things man.... 1, your not determined enough!! GO BUY ANOTHER ONE YOU GOT A CAR!!! 2, you couldve played wit each other, and 3 , the car for your first time...really?