Intimacy: Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very...

By eaa145 - 03/03/2009 21:40 - United States

Today, for my two-year anniversary I got my girlfriend a very expensive diamond necklace. She got me male enhancement pills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158 405

You deserved it 18 261

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Same thing different taste

By lame - 20/10/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 302

You deserved it 7 561

By Nickolas Neffster - 05/10/2011 00:14 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 137

You deserved it 3 109

By She totally did not cheat - 15/08/2018 22:00

Today, for our third anniversary, I gave my fiancée a necklace she always wanted. She gave me herpes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 293

It's the thought that counts, or something

By Henji - 10/12/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I gave a girl I like a $200 diamond necklace to express how much she means to me. She gave me a hug and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend. Nor did she want to lose her new necklace. Today, I got a $200 hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 076

You deserved it 41 936

Romance is dead

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 10:00 - Australia - Peakhurst

Today, on my 11-year anniversary with my wife, I bought her a nice necklace and we went to an Indian restaurant where we had the most sensational banquet meal. When we got home, I suggested we made love, to which she replied, "I don't like you enough to do that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 233

By Anonymous - 09/11/2011 20:00 - Canada

Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 982

You deserved it 7 330

By nuttedthefout - 28/04/2011 13:16

Today, I bought my boyfriend a gold watch for our 2 year anniversary. He bought me a jar of Nutella. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 623

You deserved it 9 625

By Anonymous - 05/07/2009 04:57 - United States

Today, it was my boyfriend and my six-month anniversary. I've really fallen in love with him, and I know he loves me the same. So I got him a really nice gift, a watch he's had his eye on for as long as I've known him. It was expensive. What does he get me? A condom. Three actually. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 225

You deserved it 9 907

By I_Lossed - 03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 519

You deserved it 4 779

By Anonymous - 26/08/2015 07:45 - India - Kolkata

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 684

You deserved it 3 512

ChaosZirconia 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

...bitch.

Brown5922 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:39

ohhh haha nice gift from you... but i guess your not performing well?

Comments

woeisme 0

Tuesday 24 March 2009 17:00

yo take the necklace BACK!

firedragon64 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 6:35

#28 is awesome, at least if you do that...if she takes it well, then you know she didn't have bad intentions with this one.

jj505_fml 0

Friday 10 April 2009 5:41

Yeee 15 and wow bitch

Dane_fml 0

Friday 17 April 2009 8:33

Maybe she'll have sex with you more often now, win.

alphabetcity 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 7:26

Tell her to stop watching those damn Enzyte commercials late at night

xHaniffax 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 15:39

So, in effect she got herself a present.

_intalek_ 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 18:38

LOOL wow that sucks @24 HAHAH

xxcheesyxx 0

Sunday 3 May 2009 5:58

HAHA! omg ouch

Lisimal 7

Tuesday 26 May 2009 6:35

woodypecker not big enough? so sad... maybe she thinks that cuz she's too used.

Bannanock 0

Tuesday 2 June 2009 22:11

haHA thats sucks maybe you streched it out to much

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Poopoo peepee Work Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation ADHD Dogs Animals Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 102

Today, on the way home, a guy yelled "Hey, YOU!" from behind me, so I walked faster. He ran up to me, shouting, "I said stop, asshole!" I almost pissed myself in fear, thinking I was being mugged. Turns out I'd left my wallet at the grocery store, and he was just trying to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 534

You deserved it 45 203

The Top

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 931

You deserved it 6 011

Today, after paying at the gas station, the cashier stuck out her hand, which was clenched into a fist. I thought she wanted a fist-bump, so I gave her one. She just stared back at me. Turns out she was just trying to give me my change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 065

You deserved it 16 609

Today, I found out that the guy I was talking to for over a year, who told me he was dying from Covid, is perfectly fine and he just didn't want to talk to me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 145

Today, I walked out of my platonic coworker's office, after he got my lunch order wrong. My exit line? “Get your creamy pork sausage out of my taco.” The entire bullpen started hooting and hollering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 272

You deserved it 1 251

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 626

You deserved it 3 077

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law decided that she is going to be in charge of planning my wedding. All decisions must be approved by her, and anything she doesn't like will be thrown out. She also wants to go on our honeymoon with us to make sure I don't "defile" her son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 966

You deserved it 1 523

Same thing different taste

It's the thought that counts, or something

Romance is dead

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