Intimacy: Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating.... - FML

By fmyhabit - 15/04/2011 05:34 - United States

Spicy

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 867

You deserved it 57 415

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 44 100

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Spicy

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 2 593

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 458

You deserved it 3 415

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 853

You deserved it 239

By John - 21/10/2014 00:29 - Canada - Ottawa

Spicy

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 14 480

By Anonymous - 30/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Littleton

Spicy

Today, my 14-year-old sister came into the bathroom while I was in it. When she saw me, she said sorry and left. Little did I know, she took my electric toothbrush to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 839

You deserved it 566

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 14:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 282

You deserved it 44 106

By Anonymous - 23/12/2014 21:48 - United States - Gainesville

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend slept with my sister. "Accidentally", apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 606

You deserved it 3 898

Freudian slip

By stupid me - 28/10/2020 06:02 - Israel

Today, while hugging my sister's husband, I accidentally let out a "Mmm…" sound in front my whole family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 420

You deserved it 1 127

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 107

You deserved it 8 580

Next

Top comments

chewbacca69 0

Friday 15 April 2011 11:51

don't lie you just wanted to hear her voice

Bekll 31

Friday 15 April 2011 11:54

YDI for having the phone that close to you... unless you were using it? Had it on vibrate?

Comments

xrainbowshadowx 17

Saturday 16 April 2011 1:43

That's not awkward at all.

ecoop2011 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 3:08

poor you,tht musta been embarrassing o_O

kiko686 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 3:19

hey u should give me ur number then u wouldn't have to **********;)

Alexnumber17 7

Thursday 7 July 2011 10:20

your probly a guy wanting some

kei1108 13

Saturday 16 April 2011 3:35

AWWGGHHH!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!! D: I can't even imagine if one of my brothers did that to me......... UUHGGGHH!!!! EWW!! XD I'm gonna be disturbed for the rest of the night...

hcovballer247 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 3:57

hot..

FreebirdIII 1

Saturday 16 April 2011 4:16

Just do it in the shower, problem solved.

Greenbean13 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 4:19

wow that sucks

juicycouture12 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 4:30

how much noise do u make?

ilikeemsmall 4

Saturday 16 April 2011 5:05

It's only a problem if she calls back and says she wasn't done yet.

toddlesscott 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 7:08

Moral of the story is... don't leave your phone in your pocket while you **********.

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The Top

Today, I wrote a submission to FML and I realized that I could be doing so much more with my life than this. I mean really, I have real life stuff to deal with, and I don't have the time to be reading these s*itposts, much less making my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 533

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

The Top

Today, while I was walking to class, I was hit by a car. The driver stopped to let me cross in front of her, started moving again, hit me, and then yelled at me, saying it was my fault for walking in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 053

You deserved it 695

Today, after hours of waiting and $300 spent, I find out my transmission is dying. My car is old, so the price of rebuilding it is more than it's worth. That's money well spent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 832

You deserved it 105

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 922

You deserved it 2 397

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After we finished, he went under the covers and started touching me. At first I thought he was trying to give me "oral pleasure". It turns out he lost the condom inside of me and was trying to fish it out before I noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 255

You deserved it 5 558

Today, my boyfriend got really excited that he'd broken his own record; he can now last a full 2 minutes in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 096

You deserved it 4 085

Today, I asked my husband when he first knew he loved me. He replied, totally honestly, that I was the easiest girl he'd ever managed to talk into a one-night stand, only instead of doing the walk of shame the next morning, I stayed so long we ended up married with kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 923

You deserved it 1 360