Love: Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly...

By imafunguy - 05/10/2012 00:28 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 3 090

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By apparentlybutch - 05/09/2014 21:11 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 213

You deserved it 4 571

Know this of me…

By thefmlman2011 - 02/09/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was going to ask out a girl I work with, only to find out that not only is she in a relationship, she’s also a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 243

By straightasaneedle - 02/02/2011 17:11 - Germany

Today, after three weeks of putting it off, I decided to ask out the girl I've had a major crush on since third grade. When I told her, she smiled, but then quickly said, "But aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 601

You deserved it 4 877

By Anonymous - 17/06/2009 00:59 - United States

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 499

You deserved it 4 908

By Anonymous - 05/09/2015 04:58 - United States - Latrobe

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 500

You deserved it 2 387

By The L word - 30/01/2009 15:28 - United States

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 921

You deserved it 6 295

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 03:21 - France

Today, my first and only true date ended with the girl saying, "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 061

You deserved it 2 494

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, I talked to a girl I like. I tried to make her jealous by telling her I had a "thing" going with another girl. She looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Wait, aren't you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 200

You deserved it 17 872

But I'm a man

By moneyman - 05/01/2020 20:00

Today, I went on a date with a beautiful woman I had recently met. Great food, great conversation, and a great connection. That is, until she revealed that she is a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 347

Stereotypes

By Anonymous - 26/09/2019 06:01

Today, my girlfriend's Facebook relationship status was changed to single. When I tried to ask her about, she told me she's a lesbian now. Her mullet should've been a clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 543

You deserved it 339

sikkpsychodoll 3

Friday 5 October 2012 9:11

U shud have replied "greaaatt, im having my sex changed" lol

c2keeme 7

Friday 5 October 2012 9:06

How rude of her. You're better off without her OP.

Comments

jmoreno 4

Friday 5 October 2012 9:42

They're all lesbians now buddy!

PiaMiaPerez 1

Friday 5 October 2012 9:45

ROFL

heythere131630 9

Friday 5 October 2012 9:51

Tell that works, cause your suddenly a woman.

Leftoverjello 6

Friday 5 October 2012 9:51

The most powerful word in dating is "Next!"

cheshireau 26

Friday 5 October 2012 10:08

You don't want to date a chick like that anyway. Shallow b****, a no, sorry wouldn't of hurt.

stephiijo 15

Friday 5 October 2012 10:23

Wouldn't have*

MaJiCiDe 5

Friday 5 October 2012 10:17

That's when you say awesome so am I...

paaronoid 4

Friday 5 October 2012 10:31

You should've told her that you were transgendered and born a female just to see what she'd say. (;

Bekll 31

Friday 5 October 2012 17:16

Born female and transgendered? That would be a transman - which lesbians don't want. I think you meant the other way around.

RealReality 12

Friday 5 October 2012 10:33

What a bitch, was just saying "no" too polite?

mikeofthunder 13

Friday 5 October 2012 10:35

There's plenty more fish in the sea, and lesbians actually! It shall not be an easy life, my friend 0.o

gracehi 31

Friday 5 October 2012 12:13

Lesbian fish?

BountyBass 13

Friday 5 October 2012 16:18

Gay fish

gc327072 30

Friday 5 October 2012 21:11

This makes me think of Rainbow Fish in a whole new way...

BlackBlazeCobra 16

Friday 5 October 2012 10:42

Wow, what a way to be rejected. Sorry OP, you'll find a girl soon enough :)

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident ADHD Medication Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Public freakouts

The Top

Today, I learned that I actually like my boiled eggs a bit softer than I usually make them. I also learned that an outwardly lukewarm egg, when bitten into enthusiastically, is perfectly capable of creating a volcanic eruption of boiling hot yolk all over your hands, clothes and kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 412

Today, I told my son to get a job and start paying rent. Five minutes later he transferred me rent for the next 5 years. When I demanded to know where he got that kind of money, he showed me his bank statements. He’s made more money mining Bitcoin than I’ve made in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 363

The Top

Today, it was my very last day teaching my dance class. After the class ended, the owner of the studio started clapping and told all my students to give me a hug. No one hugged me. No one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 733

You deserved it 5 717

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 993

You deserved it 2 595

Today, it's the 10th anniversary of the last time I had sex, and that was a drunk pity shag down an alley that lasted less than 30 seconds, due to me getting my period and his whiskey dick. Since then, all my sexual encounters have included the internet and rechargeable batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 244

You deserved it 347

Today, my son brought home a girlfriend who actually talks like Vicky Pollard from Little Britain. I simply couldn’t take her seriously, or even understand what she was talking about. This has to be a prank. In fact, it better be because it’s not funny. My son's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 303

Today, after a month of planning, I started to tease my boyfriend of 3 years about the wonderful anniversary plans I had made for us. It was a secret, so I let him try and guess. He said, "As long as it's not a spa day. That would suck, I'd never go." It's a spa day. That I've already paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 597

You deserved it 26 584

Today, I learned that your crotch can just light up on the body scanner in the airport for no apparent reason; and when that happens, a thorough pat down of that area will be performed by a confused security officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 171

You deserved it 1 658

Same thing different taste

Know this of me…

But I'm a man

Stereotypes

Top comments

Comments