Kids: Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he... - FML

By cahsecuel - 14/08/2014 20:44 - France - Grisolles

Spicy

Today, I asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He smiled broadly and said "A porn star!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 653

You deserved it 7 137

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Same thing different taste

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Spicy

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 269

By Anonymous - 26/09/2014 21:07 - United States - Pensacola

Spicy

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 207

You deserved it 8 203

By Anonymous - 22/03/2016 21:17 - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 123

You deserved it 2 088

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 02/01/2016 22:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 260

You deserved it 29 579

Bad influence

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 18:27 - United States - Katy

Today, my in-laws were visiting. My mother-in-law asked my 10-year-old son what he wants to be when he grows up. He said "A pimp!" I have no idea where he even heard the word, but the death glares my in-laws gave me made me want to shrivel up and die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 282

You deserved it 3 185

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 634

You deserved it 8 640

By Bad parenting101 - 08/01/2017 03:23 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my son shaved his eyebrows. Two days ago, I caught my 10-year-old daughter watching porn. I'm totally winning at parenting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 863

You deserved it 2 278

By anonymousyo - 24/04/2015 22:04 - United States - Vacaville

Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 162

You deserved it 4 233

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

By helen_ - 23/04/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I had to go to my 10 year-old son's school to talk about my job being a chef. As I was almost finished, I asked the kids "What would you like to do when you grow up?" Without hesitation one kid replied with a straight face, "Anything but being a douchebag like you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 523

You deserved it 6 059

Good question

By Anonymous - 17/10/2024 05:00 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, my six year-old son asked me, "Dad, what's a glory hole?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 101

Next

Top comments

Aspen_Grace33 27

Friday 15 August 2014 5:04

You always told him he could be anything he wanted when he grew up!!! Just a little concerned he is striving to be the next Ron Jeremy before his voice has even changed!!!

monstermatt001 13

Friday 15 August 2014 5:05

He's going to have a "hard time" with that! ;)

Comments

anonymisslady 5

Saturday 16 August 2014 4:54

bad parenting... leads to this.

limabeans101029 20

Saturday 16 August 2014 13:51

Not necessarily. Kids pick this kind of stuff up from loads of places. I hate how people always jump to "bad parenting"

Icebrisket 5

Saturday 16 August 2014 5:51

Parenting at its best haha just like his dad

colecarter68 3

Saturday 16 August 2014 5:57

FML? THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?! YOUR KIDS AWESOME!

Keyboardcat395 3

Saturday 16 August 2014 7:54

Maybe he doesn't know what it means and someone told him it meant something better?

VancouverGuy89 9

Saturday 16 August 2014 9:19

Atta boy stick to the barely legal girls

xIlluminated 6

Saturday 16 August 2014 16:36

He has a bright future in front of him

mclovin22897 15

Sunday 17 August 2014 5:18

They do make good money....

abbey728 16

Monday 18 August 2014 2:36

*when he gets grows up*

kcgatsby 8

Monday 18 August 2014 12:59

your ten years old son is quite ambitious

MacWorms 10

Monday 18 August 2014 19:41

At least he's a star........ I'll be here all night

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The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 1 032

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 403

The Top

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

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You deserved it 6 916

Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 433

You deserved it 1 426

Today, I tripped and fell on the sidewalk. As I did, a car that was passing by stopped, made a U-turn, and then came back so the people inside could laugh at me. When they were done taunting me, they made another U-turn and continued back in their original direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 239

You deserved it 2 741

Today, whilst getting ready, I decided to have a strong coffee. Followed by the runs. My hook up arrives in half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 749

You deserved it 402

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 968

You deserved it 4 348

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 719

You deserved it 4 971