Kids: Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider... - FML

By ihatespiders - 05/08/2014 12:31 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 823

You deserved it 18 862

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Same thing different taste

Wuss

By kenneth - 31/08/2018 01:30

Today, I had to drive 40-odd miles to my grown-ass son's house to kill a large spider on the wall. It had him trapped in his bedroom because his wife had already gone to work. How did I ever raise such a wuss? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 755

You deserved it 1 659

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 31 280

A job well done.

By belly the jelly - 30/10/2017 21:00

Today, I asked my husband to deal with the very large spider in our kitchen. Rather than a newspaper or a slipper, he went after it with an aerosol can and a lighter. The spider is now dead, but so are the wall and cupboards in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 582

You deserved it 695

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 201

Disproportionate responses are the new black

By Anonymous - 24/10/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son nearly burned the house down with a lighter and an aerosol. His excuse? He was killing a massive spider carrying an egg sack. My wife hates spiders so she refuses to punish him and gave him £20. But sure, dear old Dad will spend money replacing the wallpaper and curtains, no problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 85

Wonky fear

By mala_19 - 27/08/2023 08:00 - Sweden - Burea

Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 211

You deserved it 615

By SpiderFather - 02/07/2013 08:01 - France

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 056

You deserved it 5 875

By Anonymous - 29/06/2019 01:00

Today, my son was crying and refusing to sleep in his room because a spider ran along the wall, and it's now hiding somewhere. He’s 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 692

You deserved it 417

By JustLeaveThem - 25/01/2017 18:00

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 292

She's right, you know

By Anonymous - 27/07/2009 16:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I was babysitting some kids and helping them make a poster about insects. They couldn't think of any more insects to add so I suggested a spider, and got told to "not be a dumbass, spiders aren't insects they're arachnids." The girl is six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 930

You deserved it 55 995

Next

Top comments

Lavelle1313 11

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:21

No shame necessary. Sacrifice the children.

brettrb 18

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:21

Spiders are terrifying. I see nothing wrong with this.

Comments

evalu8tor 12

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:42

Nooooooooooo

killthedead 13

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:45

Builds character!

TanzWolf 26

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:54

I don't blame you

purplebabytacos1 14

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:58

You still have guts for being under the same roof as that spider. Respect.

ChawanKiti 15

Tuesday 5 August 2014 17:59

As someone with a terrible fear of spiders, and often nightmares about them, I see no problem if she's not afraid. Some people are terribly afraid of spiders, age/gender isn't going to stop that fear. So don't worry op. Also, have her try taking the spiders outside, if not possible, then do as she did above...

iseebearbears 27

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:01

I had my three year old kill a bug for me yesterday.

weswheatley 14

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:05

I wish I had your daughter to kill all the scary bastards in my house. One time I woke up and 2 of em ran across my face...I ran like hell outta there

maximus_prime 24

Wednesday 6 August 2014 0:23

I think OP's daughter only kills spiders, not hairy bastards.

maximus_prime 24

Wednesday 6 August 2014 0:26

Damn you auto correct, scary not hairy bastards.

DARKDAY07 16

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:06

dont feel bad i wouldve screamed like a little girl and ran....

unless 20

Wednesday 6 August 2014 13:48

And yet, his little girl, is not afraid.

Futacy 29

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:15

If you don't live in Australia, YDI. You're a grown-ass man.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:39

And "grown-ass men" can be scared of things too.

bluucat 17

Tuesday 5 August 2014 18:27

It's completely fine. Can't blame anyone for their natural fear of anything.

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The Top

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 780

You deserved it 4 168

Today, my wife dragged me to the bathroom, promising to "show something hot." Not that I was in the mood, but okay. She took off her pants, sat on a toilet, and demanded that I tell her about my day. She wanted me to entertain her while she was taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 82

The Top

Today, I started a new job at a family owned business. About ten minutes into training, the mother and father started an argument that ended in each of them storming off, demanding a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 827

You deserved it 1 428

Today, I got the hiccups at work no fewer than ten times in a row. I'm a cashier and not allowed to leave to go get water. Not only that, but I was called into the office to discuss my “drinking problem.” I don’t drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 48

Today, I bumped into my old university roommate. He's now a young retired BlackBerry millionaire. I asked if he saw my resume back in the day. He did, and put it through the shredder. Making out with his girlfriend during senior year was apparently very expensive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 783

You deserved it 7 027

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 386

You deserved it 5 796

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 353

You deserved it 7 771

Today, I'd purchased a ticket for the train on my mobile app. Some idiot pushed past me on his way out and in the process makes me drop my phone, ruining it. A conductor then came to check my ticket and I got fined 150 dollars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 180