Intimacy: Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became... - FML

By Anonymous - 08/05/2012 11:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 783

You deserved it 35 148

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Oddly specific question

By Anonymous - 08/11/2023 06:00 - Japan - Osaka

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he’d love me if I were a worm. His answer involved chopping me in half and having a threesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 615

By Anonymous - 19/06/2014 14:33 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I was feeling unappreciated and asked my boyfriend if he loves me. He faltered and replied, "Uh, my dick does." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 678

You deserved it 8 434

By grizzlybear - 27/06/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 193

You deserved it 6 997

By myennechee - 18/03/2009 05:22 - Germany

Spicy

Today, I asked my boyfriend while he was eating potato chips if he wanted to eat me. He looked at the potato chips, looked at me, and said, "Unless your vagina turns into a potato chip, I'd rather eat these." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 210

You deserved it 91 999

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 641

You deserved it 6 666

By rockefoe - 20/10/2010 18:41 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't feel like he loved me. His response? "Why else would I be with you? Your looks?" He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 521

You deserved it 8 693

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 410

You deserved it 19 276

It's not me, it's you

By notjustfat - 20/04/2016 23:24 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said he was no longer sexually attracted to me. He then followed that with, "But don't worry, it's not because you're fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 766

You deserved it 2 351

By Anonymous - 14/03/2011 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 963

You deserved it 14 589

By Sal - 03/03/2009 18:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I asked my girlfriend when she would give me a blowjob. She replied, "you know that won't happen, I'm a vegetarian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 047

You deserved it 31 136

Next

Top comments

mrricecakes 4

Tuesday 8 May 2012 15:52

Why would you even ask that in the first place?

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 8 May 2012 15:51

A necrophiliac in the making.

Comments

reese20 0

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:12

LOL

groupleader 7

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:12

I hate veggies, but you are one vegetable I would eat.

eman1972 4

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:16

He just needs to give you something to make you move. You're only as good as your partner!

lolfood 24

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:21

For some reason, that made me laugh

BobbieH 19

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:22

Sorry but YDI. Try being an active participant in your sex life and you won't get this type of response. Your question and the response indicates you're insecure. Get over yourself and your insecurities and you'll be happier in life.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:50

Why would you ask him about you being kinda alivo? (Family Guy)

perdix 29

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:50

Q: What's the difference between the OP and Jell-O? A: Jell-O wiggles when you eat it!

br0ccoli 14

Wednesday 9 May 2012 10:14

Omg! This made me blush.

numbersystem 4

Tuesday 8 May 2012 19:53

Orange you glad you're not a vegetable? Dont turnip your nose at veggie puns or I'll beet you up. :)

ezelisko 1

Tuesday 8 May 2012 20:00

step up your game.

Lillebrune 7

Tuesday 8 May 2012 20:08

He might just eat you up if you were a veggie ;)

3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss, who said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 555

You deserved it 17 170

Today, I got home from visiting my long-distance girlfriend. I spent $366 to get a plane ticket to visit her for the week. The day after I arrived there, she broke up with me and I had to buy a ticket for an earlier flight home. With fees and penalties, I paid around $550 to be broken up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 711

You deserved it 5 223

The Top

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 331

You deserved it 15 408

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 488

You deserved it 65 815

Today, after finals, my English professor left me less than one percent from an A. Why? All semester long, he took away points because my opinions did not match his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 778

You deserved it 3 721

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 982

You deserved it 292

Today, I learnt that my guinea pig can shoot poop across the room like a tiny brown torpedo. How did I find this out? It landed in my coffee. It wasn't until after I'd finished my coffee that I noticed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 109

You deserved it 427

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd have to ask his dad if it was OK. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "Come on, Dad" and "But why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 772

You deserved it 5 129