By Spinster - 30/09/2015 05:26 - United States - Brush

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 223
You deserved it 2 449

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Could be nothing, maybe he meant that he doesn't know what will happen in the future? Hope for the best, OP!

andits 21

How soon? Because it's time to replace him.

Comments

I feel like he was trying to be funny Clearly he didn't intend to breakup with you else he would've just said it. And if he hadn't thought of a commitment like that on his own he might feel like he needed to lighten the mood without agreeing to it until he can think more about it. However the joke clearly upset you, and if he did nothing to comfort you or indicate that it was in fact a joke. It might be best to consider moving on to someone who has your interests at heart too.

He might just be being coy about the whole thing. Some people don't like to admit when they're thinking of proposing. He definitely could have said it better though.

I'd say it may just be time for you to meet someone else. Three years and he can't respond to the marriage questions in a serious manner?

By. I read this FML you should have had a serious discussion?? If not you should have one

Why is everyone jumping to the conclusion that OP should just breakup with him? Maybe he isn't ready/comfortable with that kind of commitment yet and that was his way of showing it.

I mean sure he could've said it differently but that doesn't mean he's going to break with OP or no longer wants to be with them.

I wouldn't jump to breakup, but the fact he added 'soon' would be very worrying to me truthfully. Yes, there's always a chance you will meet someone new...but 'soon'?

19: Not the relevant issue. If she wants marriage and he (clearly) does not, every day with him is a waste of her life.

Just because someone doesn't want to get married isn't a reasonable excuse to dump them if they still like each other. Some people aren't comfortable with marriage when most of them don't work out these days anyway. Marriage is really just a piece of paper declaring your a couple and ends up screwing someone over in the end. But that's my opinion and I feel it saves money instead of spending a good bulk of money on the wedding. Maybe he'll come around and decide to get married, OP.

Sure it doesn't matter to some people, but it might matter to OP. It might be a deal breaker for them, but it's their decision if they want to try and make it work with different ideas about marriage. Also, weddings don't have to be expensive, and there are good rights that you gain from being legally married.

Good point. Wise people view marriage as daunting. He could've been deflecting it a little because he was uncomfortable rather than being a dick.

#22, Don't get me wrong. I personally want a wedding, and most weddings I've been to were really expensive, so maybe I'm just out of the loop on how inexpensive some expensive looking weddings are. I can see where Marriage would be a deal breaker, but I personally would not dump them.

I mean, I'm more inclined to a small inexpensive wedding, but a lot of people will want something bigger. There's always the option of just getting married at the court house which to my knowledge doesn't cost anything :) It also wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if my partner didn't want to get married, but it's more important to some people

Staying with someone and counting on them changing their mind about marriage is a really, really, really, really, really bad idea and unfair to both people in the relationship. Sometimes people just aren't compatible, and that's okay - it's better to let both find new partners who share their goals than it is for them to stay together in a relationship where one will end up feeling cheated or pressured. Besides, marriage definitely matters to a lot of people and doesn't always end badly. It's a personal preference: the only wrong choice is expecting somebody else to share your opinion on how it should go.

Well, if they've been together for three years, I'm going to assume they're slightly compatible. Just different future views.

I personally don't care about marriage and am in no rush to be married, but everyone I have dated has had that at the forefront of their minds. Everyone is different.

...if they have "different future views" that can't be reconciled with each other and are extremely important to both people, they're not compatible. Doesn't matter how much they both laugh at the same comedy shows or like the same takeout food or how long it's been.

We don't know if they're willing to compromise, because y'know, that's a thing.

bad_boyfriend 10

I honestly don't understand how anyone can get 3 years into a relationship without talking about if they have a future. even if it isn't marriage, I would at least check that we are heading in the same direction before investing all that time.

This. I would get if it was maybe around the 1 1/2 year, 2 year mark but THREE years? If I've spent three years being committed to someone I would surely hope it wasn't all in vain.