Love: Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top... - FML

By lucky - 31/03/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend of almost ten months who his top five women to have it off with would be. I was third. My mom was second. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 117

You deserved it 17 909

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Same thing different taste

Bigmouth strikes again

By Anonymous - 19/09/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over. My mom told him the story about the time she caught me having sex with my ex-boyfriend. My ex is his best friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 1 224

MILF Manor

By daughter - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Sweden - Vårgårda

Today, I found out that, for over three years, my boyfriend has solely been dating me to get closer to my mom. Apparently, "she's a total MILF." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 249

You deserved it 2 381

By Noname - 06/02/2009 19:23 - United States

Today, my mom decided to tell me about her new boyfriend. I know him. I've slept with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 634

You deserved it 18 550

Mama Bear

By Ally - 19/05/2022 16:00

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents. We've been dating for almost 5 months and are extremely in love. His mom basically said to me, "I want what’s best for my son and you aren’t it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 149

By Anonymous - 21/08/2019 18:00

Today, I now have been dumped by 4 serious girlfriends in the last 5 years, each of them for the same reason: Being with me would have meant dealing with my mother who, without fail, asked each of them when we planned on marrying and having kids, every single week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 221

You deserved it 583

By Anonymous - 01/12/2012 06:06 - United States - Friendswood

Today, I brought a boy over to my house to help with a history project. My mom suddenly swooped in and bombarded him with questions about his and my sex life, and how she wants to have exactly four grandchildren. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 327

You deserved it 2 245

Brutally honest

By Anonymous - 12/09/2009 07:25 - Australia

Today, at dinner with my boyfriend and my family, my mother had too much to drink and asked my boyfriend how I was in bed with the purpose of embarrassing me. His reply? "Not as good as her sister." His defense? "It was only one time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 960

You deserved it 2 920

By koolkat9 - 22/12/2014 19:11 - United States - Albion

Today, my boyfriend told me that my mom paid him to date me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 034

You deserved it 3 313

By BrisbaneCoop - 04/04/2011 17:13 - Australia

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 294

You deserved it 3 094

By Embarrassed - 22/08/2013 04:40 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 816

You deserved it 4 351

Next

Top comments

loveandzombies 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:34

Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer....

poopooface 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:35

Why would you ask that in the first place? ... as if you wanted to know who the other 4 people where.

Comments

MTL_er 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:25

If this is actually true then props to your BF for having the balls to say that hahah but seriously... who would say that?

Cancel_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:30

I deem this a lie.

bravenewworld 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:33

I like #14's idea.

pwseb 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 18:35

I actually read that wrong! I thought it was the top five he had slept with! But that is not so bad he just thinks your mom is hot. You should be complimented by this you come from her! I agree with half the people here don't ask stupid questions like that.

pinkfrenchrose 5

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:02

14 ftw.

sims224 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:05

LMAO # 14. this is actually a good, not stupid FLM. hilarious! & btw- i really don't think this was a stupid question at all...i don't see how anyone could.

kaimt 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:16

Ouch.

AliSama 17

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:29

that is an easy question top five women i would like to have sex with. #1 my soul mate- my love- the female i will marry #2 there is no number 2 or etc.

vox_temperantia 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:37

Sounds like someone is messing with you a little. Still, there's more to a healthy relationship than sex!

Kimchi_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 19:46

I don't get everyone saying, "Oh, well, you deserved that." Yeah, what? Lmao. Anyway, I like #91. :D

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Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I realized just how bitchy my BFF really is. When my sister said hi to her, she just glared back. She refers to a trans woman as "it" and not her correct pronouns. She just sucks the fun out of everything and makes me feel alone and stuck. I can't abandon her though because we're both each other's only friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 1 115

Today, after being so jaded by failed relationships, I'd given a guy who slid into my Facebook Messenger a chance. We'd entered the talking stage, only to be told four months later that he’s found a girlfriend, and no longer wants to continue this interaction and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 277

The Top

Today, we had to abandon a Winter Scout camping trip midway because of a blizzard. I was hauling my stuff out of the cabin. No one warned me about the icy steps. I slipped, landed on my tailbone, blacked out and saw stars. Everyone is now laughing at me and doing impressions of me rolling in the snow in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 495

You deserved it 108

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 858

You deserved it 5 535

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 309

You deserved it 13 363

Today, I'm worried my mother might have the early onset of senility. She started making gumbo, only to lose the plot halfway through, and then began throwing in the ingredients for chili. The result was an inedible mess, and she insisted we've had this for years. Then she tasted it, and yelled, "What the hell is this?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 81

Today, I found out my dad ate my pet rabbit two years ago. He said he ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 358

You deserved it 4 186

Today, my very cheap boyfriend of four years proposed. I was overwhelmed with emotion, since he bought such a huge, seemingly-diamond ring. I was later overwhelmed with emotion when my finger turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 460

You deserved it 4 502