Kids: Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently,...

By Anonymous - 30/03/2014 10:04 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 794

You deserved it 6 915

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Same thing different taste

Overreaction

By sadie - 01/04/2021 23:00

Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 110

By Mamaofdrama - 06/04/2019 18:00

Today, I was working on potty training my daughter. She opened the fridge while I wasn't looking and peed all over the lower shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 948

You deserved it 338

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 4 262

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 266

By Anonymous - 31/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, my nine year old stepson overheard me telling my husband that I was almost out of my favorite shampoo, and since it was discontinued, I couldn't buy any more. He got in the shower and happily emptied the bottles down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 5 375

By Badlucked - 03/05/2019 06:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, I spent almost an hour cleaning and scrubbing the inside of my fridge. Just when I'd finished putting everything back inside, I tipped over the open milk carton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 787

You deserved it 388

By Anonymous - 07/06/2019 22:00

Today, I went into my fridge and someone had drank all the beer. Only my 8-year-old son lives with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 618

You deserved it 382

By her mom raised her - 17/05/2014 17:30 - Mexico

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 831

You deserved it 7 049

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 292

You deserved it 7 313

Time out

By Starfucks - 17/12/2015 02:55 - United States - Bensalem

Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 875

You deserved it 4 541

klc20071989_fml 20

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:29

At least she knows her math!

ThomasBombadil 31

Sunday 30 March 2014 18:31

Don't cry over spilt milk OP.

Comments

blackonblight 32

Tuesday 1 April 2014 1:07

Looks like Captain Literal strikes again.

vickostojanovic 0

Tuesday 1 April 2014 4:26

Maybe it was just too heavy for her to carry.

ashleyylove3 22

Tuesday 1 April 2014 9:35

Congratulations, you've raised an idiot.

Luluthus 41

Tuesday 1 April 2014 16:06

I can't figure out if she is a genius, who is trying to make you get your own milk i the future, or if she is the opposite of a genius.

TheMystery13 13

Tuesday 1 April 2014 22:53

Your daughter is either a complete idiot or a genius prankster.

LoneBooker88 16

Tuesday 1 April 2014 23:21

well, at least she can do math

jessi2631 10

Wednesday 2 April 2014 5:59

Well, you did only ask for two pints

polarbearpiss 15

Friday 27 June 2014 15:21

well it was ur fault, why didnt u do it urself

96isntassexyas69 20

Monday 27 April 2015 5:32

kids... you gotta love them.

mastatheif 8

Tuesday 8 August 2017 0:33

How old is your stupid daughter?

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 636

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 268

You deserved it 4 813

The Top

Today, during dinner, my family had a discussion about the color of poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 4 702

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 184

Today, my boyfriend blackmailed me for nudes. When I told his mother, he convinced her it was a joke, and both were laughing at me for being "paranoid". He now wants me to apologise for "ruining his day". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 211

Today, at work, my colleague started to look for a new job. For me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 983

You deserved it 723

Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 518

You deserved it 39 210

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 418

You deserved it 2 464

Same thing different taste

Overreaction

Mommy milkers

Time out

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