Fellow Dutchie here. First of all, sorry your girl turned you down. Maybe she just doesn't see the added value in getting married when your lives are already so intertwined. Not saying there aren't any benefits to it (as others have already pointed out), but I think she doesn't see why you'd want to get a piece of paper to make it official after all this time.

I would get her name off the bank account then.

Marriage is a piece of paper that ***** you in the end. If you already have the commitment and life that's all that matters. That being said you should be having a talk about what the hell that means to each of you.

Sometimes, if you wanna put a ring on it, you have to apply pressure.

In some places a common law marriage is not allowed so if you want any sort of rights for your partner, you would need the official document. I'm not sure of the laws pertaining to OP's case (on mobile so I can't see the location) but perhaps that could be a factor in the decision as well.

I think you did that a little backwards...

Sounds like white trash to me!

It seems to me that she just sticking around with you for the sake of the kids and your bank account and is not really interested in you. Marriage in this situation is a bad idea, and in that case she actually did the right thing, only didn't had the courage to say the true reason.

... And you're choosing to stay with someone who, basically, openly admitted they don't foresee this relationship lasting a lifetime and they're going to want to eventually see someone else? I hope she was joking.

Honestly, that's stupid. I may not want to get married but it has lots of financial benefits, and considering the divorce rate is 51% it shouldn't feel like THAT much more of a commitment.