Miscellaneous: Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons...

By anonymous - 01/06/2009 07:05 - Korea Republic of

Today, I asked my mom if I could join my friends in getting lessons in self defense. My mom told me that I didn't need them because my face was a better weapon to repel anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 220

You deserved it 5 299

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 28/09/2010 16:16 - France

Today, my mum suggested that I should take self-defense lessons just in case I ever get attacked. Jokingly, I said, "As long as I walk under street lamps, no one is going to touch me." She replied, "Well, you never know, they might mistake you for someone good looking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 380

You deserved it 4 864

Not so Karate Kid

By Matthew - 09/03/2020 19:00 - United States - Juneau

Today, my mom told me to do karate with her, and so I said no. Now my mom won't let me do anything until I go do karate with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 346

You deserved it 346

'Murica

By Maryann - 08/02/2018 01:30

Today, I told my dad I started taking jiu-jitsu lessons. He responded by laughing and saying, "Martial arts are for pussies, you should just get a gun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 337

You deserved it 651

By Anonymous - 29/09/2015 22:50 - United States - Howell

Today, my mom was watching me during my Taekwondo lessons. She was yelling at me to focus on my own work and to quit hanging out with the little kids. I'm the instructor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 876

You deserved it 1 812

By mommy_issues - 29/08/2009 16:46 - United States

Today, I was curious as to whether or not my mom was off of her medication. When I asked her, she pulled a knife on me. Looks like I got my answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 174

You deserved it 4 528

By inpain - 17/03/2016 04:56 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in my self-defense class, we did an attack simulation. As I began to hit my attacker, my fist hit the top of his helmet, dislocating my shoulder. I then spent the next hour in the ER sobbing until it was popped back in. I need to learn to defend myself against myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 894

You deserved it 2 410

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 574

You deserved it 2 947

Karate Kid

By Anonymous - 29/10/2021 08:00

Today, I took out a thief using my martial arts training. Everyone thanked me, even the police. My mom spent the rest of the day moaning that if I’d minded my own business, the thief would've been gone in two minutes, but thanks to me we had to waste an hour of her day off talking to the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 106

By -_- - 05/07/2013 21:59 - United States - Munith

Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 584

You deserved it 5 227

By Anonymous - 31/12/2014 20:29 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 089

You deserved it 2 894

fortytwo 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:58

Inform her that you got all your looks from her.

Dogmaw 0

Monday 1 June 2009 15:57

Start leaving brochures for the worst nursing homes in town laying around the house.

Comments

cwdeus 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 19:06

Sounds like a joke commonly found in the East. I've heard something like this millions of times where I live (Thailand).

jambalai555 0

Friday 5 June 2009 0:48

she has got to be joking tel her its genetics

x1derek1x 0

Friday 5 June 2009 5:13

Rofl thats COLD and yes u should have said i got my looks from u

wildbiscuit 0

Friday 5 June 2009 7:59

You should beat your mom with a toaster

furious251 0

Friday 5 June 2009 8:30

Haha dudw that sucks

cutelilbumny 0

Friday 5 June 2009 9:35

I think there should be a "your mom is a bitch button" there are so many mom-is-a-bitch fml's

jmo161 0

Friday 5 June 2009 16:11

She was probably choking. But it was still insensitive

at0micmin3r 23

Friday 5 June 2009 20:24

No, she's right. It's all in the eyes. You can crush any boy/girl's hearts to pieces, or scare the heck out out of people with just a simple glance of the eyes.