Kids: Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss....

By gross - 06/08/2015 17:28 - United States

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 823

You deserved it 3 169

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 09/09/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 739

You deserved it 5 814

By Anonymous - 16/10/2017 01:30

Today, my 1-year-old son walked up to me with a disgusted look on his face. I could tell he had something in his mouth so I pulled it out. He'd been sucking on a piece of cat poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 897

You deserved it 474

By Lisaa918 - 10/06/2009 14:49 - United States

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 200

You deserved it 6 185

By Viciousvixen_21 - 02/04/2011 07:35 - United States

Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 670

You deserved it 12 246

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 675

You deserved it 9 515

By brittsters - 04/09/2015 17:46 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I went to visit my mom and my 3-month-old sister. I picked the baby up, totally unaware that she had just eaten. As I went to give her a kiss, she vomited straight into my mouth. Let's just say she wasn't the only one who puked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 935

You deserved it 3 081

Tasty!

By Andrew Williams - 12/01/2023 06:00

Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 205

You deserved it 790

By MommyProblems - 19/01/2014 05:17 - United States

Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 037

You deserved it 6 860

By gbabyy - 22/11/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 747

You deserved it 6 902

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

k_lylepad 19

Friday 7 August 2015 1:20

Why was your daughter eating dog food??

jesuis_julie 21

Friday 7 August 2015 1:52

For the people saying why the baby is kissing her/him in the lips; they're babies! It doesn't matter if they want to kiss you on the lips or cheek! Unless they are like 30 or something then yes it's weird.

Comments

jesuis_julie 21

Friday 7 August 2015 1:52

RealSuperSand 21

Friday 7 August 2015 6:32

Not only is it a little weird, it's a baby, their mouths, much like the rest of them are germ filled and disgusting. Just from a personal health issue it's a bad idea.

MonstreBelle 29

Friday 7 August 2015 7:48

37: A baby's mouth is no more germ filled than an adult's. Kissing is one way humans show affection. Should people never kiss other people because it's a "personal health hazard?" Besides, showing a baby affection by kissing them helps strengthen their immune system, which is beneficial for them in the long run.

llamingo 8

Friday 7 August 2015 20:54

Yeah really what's worse possibly catching a cold from your kid or not showing them love

karcummings 19

Friday 7 August 2015 2:02

sounds like you need to keep dog food out of her reach. but how did you not see her get into it?

MdMan2 23

Friday 7 August 2015 2:20

You have quite the baby, OP.

HellaFucked 8

Friday 7 August 2015 2:45

It kinda weirds me out when parents kiss their kids on the lips.

rileyrae0000 23

Friday 7 August 2015 3:34

Good for you. Obviously OP thinks differently and probably doesn't give a **** about what you think of her kissing her baby

itsme82 18

Friday 7 August 2015 3:12

Enjoy it while it lasts. Soon enough she will be a teen who wants nothing to do with you.

Krwman 8

Friday 7 August 2015 3:15

It's a one year old child!! A lot more will happen in the next few years. Brace yourself and enjoy!! It will go fast and you'll miss it when it's done!!