Health: Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went...

By DMStarsky - 21/10/2011 17:19 - United States

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 586

You deserved it 4 710

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Same thing different taste

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 190

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 434

You deserved it 4 059

Nice try

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 214

You deserved it 29 099

By StayPositive - 03/11/2010 00:57 - United States

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 476

You deserved it 9 612

By Anonymous - 04/08/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 974

You deserved it 288

Pure evil

By Anonymous - 07/10/2016 20:22 - Switzerland

Today, the cat climbed up to the spice shelf while I was cooking. As I looked up and told him to leave, he tipped over a chili container which coated my face with chili powder. The bloody pain in my eyes then made me knock over a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 965

You deserved it 1 174

By Coldsnap - 12/08/2011 17:25 - Sweden

Today, my father tricked me into eating a Tasmanian habanero, saying it was just another pepper. The burning in my mouth was unbearable, but nothing compared to when I took a shit later in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 847

You deserved it 5 014

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 517

You deserved it 33 477

By TLJ321 - 18/05/2012 07:41

Today, I tried to swallow a spoonful of cinnamon. I ended up vomiting chunks of burgers, all while bleeding from the nose and suffering throbbing testicles. I then had to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 613

You deserved it 58 899

By my bravado's gonna kill me one day - 10/08/2018 13:00

Today, as a big fan of spicy food and a huge challenge seeker, I decided to try the hottest burger I could order. Despite being warned by a waitress, I went for it. After eating a third, I had trouble breathing from the spiciness. The waitress was smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 270

You deserved it 3 888

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:09

Burn, burn, burn, the burning ring of fire.

liquidSELECT 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:14

Your a nice guy for eating it :D your a good guy

Comments

JinxosGirl87 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:33

You're a very brave man who won't be able to sit for a week.

obamathellama 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:35

What color was it?

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 22 October 2011 1:45

Spicy chili is delicious, it's well worth the burn on your ass later on, I respect you op. :)

taty7659 4

Saturday 22 October 2011 2:12

Haha did u ever consider that before ?? Retard obviously ur not mexican

thethatoneguy_21 4

Saturday 22 October 2011 2:13

Ahhh, the things we do for love.....kind of sad really

Phendraana 0

Saturday 22 October 2011 2:18

um, food doesn't digest & excrete within an hour...

xSynergY 8

Saturday 22 October 2011 2:43

He didn't say anything about going to the washroom an hour later. Simply gave a thought about what's bound to happen. Smart ass

xSynergY 8

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:27

Your illiterate don't argue kid. Take some university English and get your stuff together.

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:33

xSynergY, "your" illiterate? If university English classes taught you that you need to get a refund, my friend.

xSynergY 8

Saturday 22 October 2011 3:42

My writing doesn't have to be correct in posting crap, the point of this is being able to read and get the correct information out of it. Your a smart ass as well.

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 22 October 2011 4:00

xSynergY, "Your" a smartass? I can't tell if you're trolling or just this stupid. Normal people learn from their mistakes and thank the people that are showing them the correct way to do things. Idiots are defensive and learn nothing, hence you. Gofuckyourselfyouidiotfuckwadpieceofshit. Yeah, that's one word, look it up.