By Anonymous - 04/03/2011 13:39 - Australia

Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
I agree, your life sucks 18 958
You deserved it 10 360
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Zebidee 8

I'll post this up here, because everyone gets a chance to read it that way (and it also answers #1's question). 'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes. Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product. There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives. Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?

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Honesty4U 0

Here in the Southern USA we just call them dish rags and countertops.

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Comments

legitasaurusrex 0

hahahahahahahha its the jar squatter guy... so how the hell did it not shatter in his anus?

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ladyvader401 5

Fun fact: I was just watching an episode of House Hunters International in which a couple was buying a home in Australia. They just explained that what I've only ever heard called the kitchen counter is the "bench" in Australia. So I think that's what the OP is referring to there. Apologies if anybody else already pointed that out. :-)

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summersizzle 0

isn't it technically illegal to release a picture of a patient onto the internet for personal purposes without consent. a bit unprofessional. unless that isn't a real picture then nvm.

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OCDC 9

Well technically from that angle the patient looks the exact same as any other ******* person who shoved a bottle up their ass. So no, I don't think permission is needed in this instance.

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guywithhead 5

what the hell is a Turp?

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Bosia 0

Why exactly was this sticky "something" you consumed?

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Bosia 0

Woops... that should have been a "what" not a "why".

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naynay104 0

i wasnt implying that drinking turps was common in australia lol calm down, im just saying some people have, thats why its used to describe hardcore alcohol. I'm australian too and don't hear the expression all the time, but have once or twice

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OAAS 0

I could swear I've seen this one before

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OAAS 0

Wait no I moderated this one Disregard that I suck cocks

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IMveryHUNGRY 3

first sentence...that's what she said

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ckjacques53198 0

what is a tea towel? what is turps?

0 0