Intimacy: Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught...

By Anonymous - 30/10/2012 00:39 - United States

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 160

You deserved it 5 523

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/05/2012 22:09 - Netherlands - Vianen

Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 503

You deserved it 24 715

By Samantha35 - 28/01/2019 20:00

Today, I was substitute teaching a high school English class. A student discreetly told me that my zipper was open. I tried to zip it up, but the zipper got caught on my underwear. When I bent down to pick up my pen, my pants split. Before I turned around, I heard the sound of phones taking pictures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 605

You deserved it 289

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 956

By da man - 11/02/2009 11:38 - Canada

Today, my friend was picking on me at school by constantly tapping on my shoulder. At recess I had enough. I felt the familiar tap on my shoulder, and I drove my elbow into what I thought was my friend's stomach. It was my Principal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 532

You deserved it 17 401

By overreacting - 03/04/2015 06:08 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 924

You deserved it 3 016

By top dog! - 11/10/2011 20:05 - Australia

Today, I was threatened with suspension from school because of my nose piercing. I had to explain that it's actually a pimple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 477

You deserved it 2 934

By Hairy Cheek - 15/04/2016 04:27 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was at work and caught my pants on the corner of the door hinge. They tore completely open and my hairy cheek was exposed for the whole office to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 413

You deserved it 2 160

By bloodyfreakinawful - 14/12/2012 06:40 - United States - Seabrook

Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 977

You deserved it 3 200

The ole paper cut excuse

By alliwantisabandaid - 11/02/2011 08:27

Today, I cut my finger deep on an envelope at work and started bleeding profusely. When I asked my co-worker for a band-aid, she told me to get back to work and stop making up excuses to try and hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 252

You deserved it 3 978

Best teeth in the game

By Nochnoii - 07/10/2009 20:07 - Belgium

Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 661

You deserved it 13 257

xSonic 9

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:45

Right....filing down your nails. Mmhmm

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:54

That's a good cover story OP, but we know that you were twiddling your twaddle. We know.

Comments

Mauskau 35

Tuesday 30 October 2012 11:19

I just try to file it with my other nails. Mine are long enough to kinda reshape a broken nail, enough to stop it from getting caught on things.

Enslaved 36

Tuesday 30 October 2012 11:41

Were you pants unzipped? :P ***I carry a baby nailclipper on my key ring for such-- nail breaking occasions. (:

dabeast15 7

Tuesday 30 October 2012 12:25

Just use a ******* file and this woulduv never happens

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 30 October 2012 15:37

Some schools would toss you in detention or suspend you for using a "weapon" in school.

dabeast15 7

Tuesday 30 October 2012 23:21

Yea that's true

fylx100 19

Wednesday 31 October 2012 5:28

28- I usually just wait until after class and file my nails on the bricks when I don't have a nail filer. It works just as well, especially for a quick emergency. However, if its aggravating me too much, I ask to use restroom and then go outside to file it really quick.

2112mike 4

Tuesday 30 October 2012 12:34

Filing down on your jeans ? Not smart man..

oG100 5

Tuesday 30 October 2012 12:54

Self service in class, yum sounds like the start to a porno. haha

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 30 October 2012 13:36

Why do we keep assuming it's a girl? :O

pink_raindrops 26

Tuesday 30 October 2012 16:03

Probably because most guys don't have long enough nails to break like that. It could be a guy, but when you read "I broke a nail" most people would instantly think it's a girl.

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 30 October 2012 17:16

True but it can be a guy that fancies long enough nails lol.

damn_homie 2

Tuesday 30 October 2012 13:51

I file my nail on my jeans too. I just don't look like that doing it I guess.

3040evan 2

Tuesday 30 October 2012 15:46

This is awesome.

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 30 October 2012 15:49

Just tell the principal that you were doing a study on the Bonobo and thought the whole "relieving stress through sex" thing was a great idea. If he's good looking, suggest he try it, as you're feeling quite stressful now.