Love: Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I...

By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 4 157

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 215

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 355

You deserved it 6 228

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 07:08 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend got so drunk that he was sick in the taxi, sick on me, then sick on himself when he was sitting on the toilet. What's more, I can't get into bed because he's been sick all over my half of the bed. So I'm sleeping on the sofa tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 557

You deserved it 5 369

By Amy (grossed out) - 27/04/2014 13:43 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we left the Skype call on all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 724

You deserved it 6 074

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 18:25 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend borrowed my Jane Norman dress to wear to a Halloween party. He got hammered, threw up all over it, and fell unconscious on the shower floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 794

You deserved it 7 706

By Unfortunate - 27/12/2009 05:41 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend had a Christmas party for all of our friends. He asked me not to get "too drunk". I think throwing up on the floor while simultaneously peeing your pants fit his definition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 832

You deserved it 45 442

By vetapplez - 04/04/2009 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 551

You deserved it 8 649

Partied out

By kp. - 31/08/2010 12:46 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 177

You deserved it 4 503

By IfuSeekAmyIdo - 05/04/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 715

You deserved it 7 380

key_2010 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 0:18

Yuck! At least he did it before you started having sex.

DocBastard 38

Saturday 8 January 2011 23:52

Or maybe the boyfriend was stinking drunk. *rereads FML* Just as I suspected. Or just as I read it, rather. Here is DocBastard's guide to commenting, free of charge. A) read the FML B) think about your comment C) write the comment D) proofread the comment E) submit the comment

Comments

wtfimnotgay 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:16

or, your just plain ugly maybe, maybe your bf had to get drunk just to see you, but he still barfed because of your uglyness.

lBMTHl 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 10:22

You're**

melmeldolphin 8

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:28

And so the mating ritual begins...

lizabethp 11

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:32

you shouldve went out drinking with him instead..?

greycellgreen 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 1:42

April, is this you!?

heather_bunny 3

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:27

I don't see how you were at fault, like some of these dumbasses are saying...He's just a loser. Def. not a keeper. lol

mandypandypants 4

Sunday 9 January 2011 3:46

maybe he was nervous about your "romantic" night that he had to get some confidence and accidentaly drank too much.

C6Racer 0

Sunday 9 January 2011 4:18

I'll never understand how girls fall for guys like this. I'd give anything for a girl, like OP, who puts thought like that into a relationship. Every girl I've met just tries to take advantage of me since I'm an extremely patient person. Luckily, I'm smart enough to see trouble before any real damage is done.

supertacowaffle 41

Sunday 9 January 2011 11:24

Thats sweet. Yeah that's what my boyfriend is like:/ I'd like him to be different...

thisismyname_fml 1

Sunday 9 January 2011 16:35

For 34, if you'd like him to be different, dump him. Seriously, life is too short to waste your time on a guy that you don't love for who he is. Trying to change him will just exhaust the both of you until one of you finally gives up. And in the meantime, while you're wasting your time on a guy that you don't have a future with, you could be missing out on someone who already is what you want. I really wish people would figure out that they don't have to be so willing to settle. Especially in this day and age, you don't need to rush into a relationship that isn't right for you just to be in one.