Intimacy: Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how...

By screewit - 20/02/2009 23:42 - United States

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 762

You deserved it 4 970

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By desocrates - 20/06/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at about 1 a.m. I got a drunk text from my girlfriend thanking me for the amazing sex last night. I have been out of town for 3 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 680

You deserved it 4 070

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 660

You deserved it 4 166

Busted

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 23:41 - France

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 2 850

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 978

You deserved it 2 961

I'll just hang out I guess

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 817

You deserved it 4 306

Where am I?

By Anonymous - 13/10/2008 08:25

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 994

You deserved it 108 950

Make the most of it

By Godmish - 02/01/2009 05:37 - France

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend, saying, "Do you remember the last time we slept together?" I replied straight away, "Of course, it was great!" To which she replies, "I hope you made the most of it, because it was the last time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 588

You deserved it 2 751

By Mr. Hopeless - 13/02/2009 21:59 - United States

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 965

You deserved it 4 235

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 008

You deserved it 57 586

No time to lose

By Atma - 02/07/2023 03:00

Today, I spoke to my girlfriend about how we don't spend enough time talking to each other, but she went on to tell me that we'll talk about it tomorrow because she wanted to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 226

Cloudy_fml 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 3:45

Maybe she meant "last time"... =/

henrymeows 0

Saturday 21 February 2009 5:33

hoes... keep your pimp hand strong

Comments

bored88 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 22:14

IM SO SORRY HOPE U FIND SOMEONE BETTER!!

genericnickname 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 5:56

Somebody's taking identity theft to a sickening level.

Edwardsville_IL 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 20:57

wow......these vixens arent worth shit my dude.....you dont need any bandaids for boo boo's....we'll just FBGM and Chris Brown some hoes

xRedNormandyx 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 9:28

that frigging sucks dude. sorry to hear that your girlfriend is a *****

podrummer9209 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 3:08

I'd've gotten more than a little pissed, to be honest...

Godxboredx 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 1:22

Well i'll can say is wow..

jsmith1199 0

Thursday 19 March 2009 20:23

i dont even know what to say to this one. shes a *****. dump her.

jsmith1199 0

Sunday 22 March 2009 19:37

what a stupid *****

miscellaneousex3 0

Wednesday 1 April 2009 10:03

Looking at the negatives there is only two things that could've happened: she thought it was you which inadvertently makes it rape or she texted the wrong number.

firedragon64 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 7:10

That is ******* odd honestly, dude there had to be some mistake there or a serious **** up on her part, if it was the 2nd or at least you are convinced it is, then I hope you dumped her.