By vegas-81 - 10/02/2014 03:39 - France

Spicy
Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML
I agree, your life sucks 50 650
You deserved it 16 469
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Top comments

shadowfighter10 9

*morgan freeman voice* she's right you know

334 10
Pleonasm 35

The Hangover: Part Sex "Holy shit, men, we've somehow made it to her bladder!"

169 12

Comments

weveallbeenthere 30

sounds like she was trying to make an excuse to spare your drunk ass. maybe she doesn't want to have sex when you are drunk.

18 0
superdeej 4

Is she 12 years old??? That's really a stupid excuse not to have sex!! How do sperm raise hell?

5 40
kirrra 11

so 12 years old is the cut off point for needing a "good" reason to refuse sex now.. you must have some crazy 13 year olds where you're from.

14 0
EvilLittleMan 23

Yank it, Crank it, Wank it and Thank it. Then go to bed with a smile on your face.

17 3
noreia 14

yeah that pretty sure should sum it up... if both are drunk it's fine but if only the guy is? sex tends to be bad and most guys (tho not all) fall asleep instantly - no matter which the position - once they shot their load... including on top of her heavy as he is while drooling over her or worse depending on how drunk he is... thanks - but no thanks man... ^^

29 5
profligatesoul 18

In other words, don't go out and get shit-faced then expect her to be your waiting cum bucket

55 5
vikky538 28

drunk sperm lol.. which alcohol can make the sperms drunk...

2 16
xerbrus 14

It's called Seaman Johnson its the son of Captain Morgan

10 0
commandercolbert 6

maybe you shouldnt drink with other women eapecially

0 17
yerawizardlizzy 27

Where are you getting that he was drinking with other women?

5 0
awesomeamandas 37

Lads does not mean ladies. He was drinking with his guy friends.

6 0
olpally 32

A simple "no, not tonight" would have sufficed. Lol. Geeze.

4 15
xerbrus 14

she needs to get her point across that she doesn't want to sleep with his drunk ass. I like drinking as much as the next guy but i know my limits and my guess he was drunk enough to have a hard time finding her pussy let alone being coordinated enough to hit her g-spot

14 2
kurodansei 16

Apparently when drunk your junk will spawn the child of Satan. FYL indeed sir. Your wife is funny though.

4 3
sickerthanyou 13

But it's a long way from the throat to the uterus.

8 10