Kids: Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing...

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 640

You deserved it 7 529

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 526

You deserved it 8 485

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 2 601

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 2 315

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 303

You deserved it 2 589

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 437

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 35 763

Anbuntou 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:14

Children. Aren't they just precious...

slick5880 22

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:21

Shit happens. :)

Comments

hnz 13

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:23

That's where you smile and kiss her with your dog crap face! A tit for a tat!

steelers112 3

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:26

That's just gross and possibly borderline child abuse. Feel bad for your kids.

hnz 13

Sunday 23 October 2011 10:05

Come on. It's for pure fun and laughter!

jwade11 12

Sunday 23 October 2011 10:40

I agree completely funny!!!

shrimp1234 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:26

Rate this comment down. I want to break a record

siickman 7

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:26

Thats bull Shit.... Is your child that much of a genuis!?!?!? .. Lmfao jk but seriuosly that does suck :/

vinzk_fml 6

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:22

Your comment sucks.

ikickgingers 15

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:31

At least his comment didn't dislocate it's jaw in the process.

scruffy_janitor5 1

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:27

Your daughter is an evil genius

abluekiwi 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 15:35

I look at comment 17... And then 19... And I see... Both have the same idea but 19 is so so simple and 17... Well...

A100893 30

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:27

Your daughter is clever. Evil, but clever.

abluekiwi 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 15:38

Clever girl. O.o

abhi95 31

Wednesday 29 January 2014 21:48

She reminds me of Voldemort

2wenty0ne21 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:29

Hide under her bed and make noises tonight.

KKMH 3

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:29

my guess is that that's not the worst thing u have smelled on your knees

TemporarySharpie 3

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:29

LOL evil kid.

iNomBaconz 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:30

1. Find a bit of homeless man feces.. 2. Add liquid until the excrement is at a watery state 3. Put mixture in child's shampoo bottle 4.????? 5. Profit.