Kids: Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing... - FML

By me - 23/10/2011 02:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 640

You deserved it 7 529

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 17/03/2011 04:04

Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 873

You deserved it 5 243

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 526

You deserved it 8 485

By noname - 03/01/2009 03:26 - France

Today, when I came home, my daughter's baby-sitter was busy smelling my thongs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 555

You deserved it 2 601

By shitface - 25/01/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 563

You deserved it 3 442

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 300

By notsoproudfather - 01/02/2016 15:54 - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 019

You deserved it 2 315

By Mom2grls808 - 19/12/2018 20:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 193

You deserved it 517

By Anonymous - 24/05/2015 14:14 - United States - Berwyn

Today, I kept getting out of bed because I was sure my daughter had pooped in her diaper. Every time, I found nothing. I finally figured out the foul smell was my husband's breath, when he leaned into kiss me goodnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 303

You deserved it 2 589

So sweet

By Mom of 3 - 07/10/2018 15:30

Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 956

You deserved it 437

By Anonymous - 15/12/2013 06:47 - United States - Fresno

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 366

You deserved it 35 763

Next

Top comments

Anbuntou 8

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:14

Children. Aren't they just precious...

slick5880 22

Sunday 23 October 2011 9:21

Shit happens. :)

Comments

Bieberbabeyy1 0

Monday 24 October 2011 8:10

wait, so your daughter likes the smell of dog poop? I'm sorry.

lauren80101 1

Monday 24 October 2011 9:04

Oh wow that was really nice of your daughter to do that.

satph 12

Monday 24 October 2011 9:26

wow what a sweet little girl you've raised! how adorable

elementalz 2

Monday 24 October 2011 13:12

SCORE!! I want her as a daughter id be so proud

cheeez4u 8

Monday 24 October 2011 17:14

ROTFL!! OWNED BITCH!!!

Batman846 0

Monday 24 October 2011 21:11

Well she's definitely grounded >:/

hyden121 2

Tuesday 25 October 2011 4:26

Hahahahahahahahah! What a little punk.

rsandroyo 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:09

Too funny

vitaldisplay 0

Tuesday 25 October 2011 6:14

Just lick it off your face

QE1 9

Tuesday 25 October 2011 18:59

Lol! Can't wait till she becomes a teenager!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Family Cats DIY Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration ADHD Dogs Animals Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 304

You deserved it 190

Today, I finally got an interview for the job I want. The interviewer looked at my resumé and asked, "So, what have you been doing for the past 10 years?" I guess binge-watching Netflix wasn't the right answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 118

The Top

Today, I witnessed my boyfriend taking a dump in the litter box. He said he wanted to know what it felt like for the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 5 834

Today, my social anxiety hit a new low. I was playing bingo and, although I won, I didn't shout "bingo" because I thought too many people would look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 497

You deserved it 8 898

Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 711

You deserved it 36 318

Today, I got into an argument with my boss about the importance of a decent work/life balance. He then asked me to work overtime on a Saturday. FML

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You deserved it 123

Today, I went into my classroom to find a bag of shit on my desk with a note saying, "Thanks for failing me b*tch!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 218

You deserved it 7 529

Today, I saw the script for the end of year assembly skit I'm forced to participate in. Looks like on my last day of high school, I'll be running around in a rainbow unicorn costume in front of my entire high school and their parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 430

You deserved it 5 726