Intimacy: Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine...

By Innocent - 28/01/2012 13:40

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 510

You deserved it 3 034

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 2 839

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 6 428

By Tag - 31/08/2013 04:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 985

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 09/08/2017 20:00

Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 231

You deserved it 359

By cchandler - 23/09/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 337

You deserved it 8 041

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 21:06 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 859

You deserved it 4 879

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 961

You deserved it 6 113

Heads up

By nobueno - 06/09/2021 23:01

Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 105

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 732

You deserved it 2 392

mike3775 35

Saturday 28 January 2012 16:06

guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself

eva_baby25 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 16:07

She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"

Comments

HungerGames95 13

Saturday 28 January 2012 20:43

I don't see why they don't just call her back and say "Who were you looking for when you called?" Girl "_____ (insert name of sperm donor here)" He says "Well I'm _____ (name of Innocent" Problem solved.

iDont_fml 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:24

Clearly, all you have to do is *69 her back, or you can get her number off the answer machine. She will realize she called the wrong number and problem solved.

Ins_Knie 2

Sunday 29 January 2012 6:35

Should have 69ed her, then she wouldn't be pregnant...

skipzabeat 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:32

Maury can fix this problem

shsbrownie 3

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:41

call her back and make her fix it. if this bitch screws up your marriage then you best bet she is the responsible one for fixing it.

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:43

Wives be bitches.

iamdena12 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 21:58

oh oh..... trust issues.

nate2790 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 22:32

Now THIS is an FML

taytay7878 0

Saturday 28 January 2012 22:43

O that sucks make a friend that she doesn't know call and say that the condom broke last night

diidiimi 10

Saturday 28 January 2012 22:46

Omg! We had an incident similar to this! An unknown number but they knew my hubby's name. The message was left at like 2am and there was lots of noise in the background. We figured it was someone pranking the wrong Tom.