Intimacy: Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine...

By Innocent - 28/01/2012 13:40

Today, I came home to a furious wife and an answering machine message from a woman neither of us know claiming I got her pregnant. My wife won't believe she got the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 510

You deserved it 3 034

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Freakout

By Anonymous - 04/01/2012 17:00 - United States

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 234

You deserved it 2 839

By scumbag - 05/11/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 150

You deserved it 6 428

By Tag - 31/08/2013 04:30 - Australia - Perth

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 985

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 09/08/2017 20:00

Today, I got a call from the wife, but I was asleep so she left a voicemail. Seems like she accidentally called while sleeping with another man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 231

You deserved it 359

By cchandler - 23/09/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 337

You deserved it 8 041

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 21:06 - Norway - Nesoddtangen

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 859

You deserved it 4 879

By both are dimwitted - 23/12/2014 18:32 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 501

You deserved it 4 657

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 961

You deserved it 6 113

Heads up

By nobueno - 06/09/2021 23:01

Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 391

You deserved it 105

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 732

You deserved it 2 392

mike3775 35

Saturday 28 January 2012 16:06

guess you will have to wait 9 months to prove yourself

eva_baby25 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 16:07

She calls back a week later after you get chewed out, " sorry wrong number"

Comments

sball11 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:17

Well I guess your SOL huh?!? (: life sucks sometimes! ):

thecovert 7

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:30

Disd she buy it? Inquiring minds want to know.

davek 36

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:34

Someone's gonna end up on Maury (or Jeremy Kyle, if you're this side of the pond)

Colonel_Lexi 18

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:07

Woman-YOU'RE THE DADDY, YOU'RE THE BABY DADDY OF MY BABY, MOTHA ******!! OP-I don't know you! I'm not father! Pregnant Woman-TELL HIM MAURY! Maury-"OP...you are NOT the father!" *woman runs backstage crying because the fifth guy she tested isn't the father of her daughter, Mercedes*

vieeev 4

Saturday 28 January 2012 23:37

Just call back on speaker when your wife is there to prove it!

ilove80smetal 8

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:21

Get a friend to leave a message on your machine saying "sorry I think I got you pregnant. The condoms broke". Then get pissed at her

LucyG 3

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:40

Something like that happened to me about 3 years ago. A guy called me and told me really angrily that my number was in his cellphone under a name something like 'Sweetie'. Meanwhile his wife was screaming in the background. I had to ask my dad to calm him down because he wouldn't believe me I wasn't joking with him. I also had to change my phone number.

BayleeTheLlama 3

Sunday 29 January 2012 0:50

Looks like you'll be single for the next 9 months. Congratulations. (:

Fmlsea 28

Sunday 29 January 2012 1:00

Hopefully the truth comes out soon but if u could call her back that would get rid of this mess quicker

Okayitwasme 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 2:33

A friend of mine use to prank call people and sat shit like that! If there was an answering machine look out!!!!!!

Okayitwasme 0

Sunday 29 January 2012 21:16

*say* sorry I'm on an I pad. I don't have a "computer" so to speak. To type on here is kinda a three finger typing. I have to change screens to use quotes numbers and commas. It's just not as nice as a full keyboard. I apologise for the spelling errors.