By Jo_kat - 09/06/2016 03:56 - United States - Portland

Today, I came home to find out my stay-at-home neighbor built his kids an awesome treehouse deck two stories up in the air. Three feet from my house. Directly adjacent to my second-floor bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 631
You deserved it 912

Jo_kat tells us more.

Jo_kat 5

OP here. Last night's 10 year old gossip included who's farts smell the best and what night the "neighborhood meeting" should take place in the treehouse. It isn't the visual privacy that's the issue, it's the sound. I can hear them whispering, but so far it's been pretty entertaining and they're called inside by 9pm. But they're guaranteed to get a soundbite when my boyfriend visits this weekend.... ;) Wish I could share a photo.

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Top comments

xoxoblondee 31

At least now they don't have to worry about going to school to get a sex-ed lesson

269 5
Sam_Dchi 23

Guess he was tired of sitting on the tree branch. wanted something sturdier!!

199 3

Comments

Jo_kat 5

OP here. Last night's 10 year old gossip included who's farts smell the best and what night the "neighborhood meeting" should take place in the treehouse. It isn't the visual privacy that's the issue, it's the sound. I can hear them whispering, but so far it's been pretty entertaining and they're called inside by 9pm. But they're guaranteed to get a soundbite when my boyfriend visits this weekend.... ;) Wish I could share a photo.

85 3
MandieL 27

Don't hold back! Perfect time to work on your dirty talk :)

91 3
thefmlman2011 36

who knows, the boyfriend might want to join them

64 6
EwahWeeWah 21

Sorry but you should really complain, that was pretty ******* inconsiderate of them AND their parents.

107 7
leafynitemare 24

You could make signs where you quote embarassing things you've heard them say and put these signs on the outside of your window. They're sure to see them and realize you can hear them. So they will be quieter next time or stop meeting up there. Or they will think it's haunted lol

80 2
shadow1248 23

Not really the kids' fault, but definitely douchey of the parents!

50 2
cutiepie292929 18

Share in 9gag!

2 10
andrmac 25

Loud hot screaming sex so the whole block can hear don't hold back leave the window open with the curtain down as soon as he gets there and until late. That treehouse might come down the next day.

31 5
jbuckets_404 38

#54: OP, you CAN post a photo or 3 on your profile pg.... lol

10 3
newbiemalestr8 26

take a pic and use it as your profile pic...just a thought.

7 1
ham_spam 17

Put a sign that says go the **** away

1 3
BurnInDemonFire 34

It's pretty disturbing that you're willing to get it on mere feet from a couple of kids. Maybe keep it in your pants, and have a word with the parents about moving the treehouse away from somewhere the kids are likely to hear grown-up time.

5 30
DoomedGemini 37

The parents decided to put it there. And besides, apparently having them remove it or take it someplace else is "mean" according to other commenters, op should live her life. She shouldn't have to stop it because her neighbors are inconsiderate dicks

22 1
InfiniteSunshine 32

#93 Why the hell should she have to "keep it in her pants" in her own house? She shouldn't have to accommodate her life because shitty parents don't have common sense. If the kids hear or see anything, it's 100% the parents' fault for not respecting their neighbours and boundaries. It's not the OP's fault at all for choosing to have sex in her own freaking bedroom.

26 1
Brindilles 14

While I do feel like it's a little questionable to purposely do it louder when there are kids around, there has to be some zoning laws that you can bring up with the county to have the kids' parents move the treehouse to a different tree on property. Maybe they could have a tiny house on the ground instead.

10 0
great_nate 26

Did you look into zoning laws? It's usually illegal to build that close to the property line.

4 0
annalily5 28

I mean yes it sucks to be mean and have something so fun for the kids taken down, but if the neighbor put so much work into the tree house he could have at least taken a few minutes to consider courtesy. Let's list all the reasons this is not good for OP. 1. The obvious invasion of privacy, OP can never leave the blinds open without kids being able to see everything. 2. The noise the kids will makes. They may be going to bed at 9 PM, but they won't be forever, plus if OP ever has the flu or something and just wants to sleep those conversations about farts will be far less enduring. 3. The fact that OP can no longer have a private conversation about anything in her own bedroom without the kids hearing, not to mention her sex life is now on display. 4. The obvious safety issue OP can't leave the window open anymore to catch that nice summer breeze, because now in addition to noise, buglers and potential stalkers have a nice, hidden from plain sight path to break into her house, possibly while she's sleeping in the very room they're coming into. 5. The threat of any storm. I don't know about you, but I don't relish the idea of being woken up by a house crashing through my wall onto my sleeping body. 6. If OP ever wants to sell her house, potential buyers will see this and either walk on out or require a much reduced price. So yah, it sucks for the kids, but the neighbor was an inconsiderate dick. Besides, if he stays homes and had the time to build one tree house, I'm sure he can figure out how to build another one in a spot that isn't totally terrible for high neighbor.

128 7
MandieL 27

I don't think it's mean at all. The dad could have built a play house on the ground, he could have energy built it around the tree trunk so it would still essentially be a tree house. I think it is the dad who was the mean one by not consulting OP.

24 2
HedgeFox90 26

Easily the most impressive argument I've ever read on FML! Bravo!!!

7 2
phinix 5

agree ! Also is this a ploy for the neighbor to sneak a peek at OP ? very creepy to use your kids to be a peeping tom

2 2
Reaperbunni 4

Just go talk to them instead of complaining about it.

4 17
lovely234_fml 16

I would say make him pay for your window to be frosted or to take down the tree house, and if he refuses, try to make a point by doing absolutely horrifying things when they can see it. Not necessary sexual, but maybe start naked yoga? Get a good spread going and give them a show.

8 19
that1giirl__ 19

It's not for his kids. He's a stay at home dad, it's obviously for him

8 2