Intimacy: Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the...

By penisgrabber - 15/12/2010 17:07 - United States

Today, I came to the realization I make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates. I've touched more dog penises than I have human ones, and sometimes the dogs get "excited" while I'm working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 7 080

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Same thing different taste

By cutup - 11/07/2012 17:54 - United States - Gainesville

Today, I tried to trim my dog's nails. After about a half hour of barking, biting, and general freaking out, I gave up and decided to pay someone else to do it. I'm a vet, and do this for a living. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 526

You deserved it 6 434

By StudMuffinette - 18/07/2011 19:40 - United States

Today, I was at work when someone came in asking me to brush their pet Shih Tzu. After an hour of vigorously grooming through the multiple knots, I called the owner to collect their dog. When she got here she said, "Oh, did I say brush? I meant shave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 276

You deserved it 2 979

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 23:08 - United States - New Kensington

Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 483

You deserved it 3 411

By workaholic - 15/02/2012 11:09 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 264

You deserved it 3 012

By budbunny13 - 30/06/2011 23:08 - United States

Today, I saw a pink, slimy thing coming out of my dog's knob. I got really freaked out so I took him to the vet, only to find out that it was his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 683

You deserved it 64 006

By Anonymous - 15/05/2011 04:41 - United States

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 721

You deserved it 26 759

By Puppylove - 26/02/2013 18:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 908

You deserved it 10 292

By Noname - 09/03/2009 17:04 - Canada

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 348

You deserved it 8 696

By nickyniknaim93 - 11/03/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 724

You deserved it 17 012

By tbright010 - 08/04/2011 22:48 - United States

Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 520

You deserved it 4 627

Ninjafriends 1

Wednesday 15 December 2010 23:41

I noticed that you refrained from saying that you're a dog groomer, and that you "make a living trimming the hair off dogs' privates". This implies that you specialize in the penis of dogs. Do you occasionally get requests to groom a dog and have to reply, "sorry, I only do the penis and sometimes the scrotum, you'll have to look elsewhere"? Also, don't lie. You love it.

Alzied 0

Wednesday 15 December 2010 23:28

Do you get excited too?

Comments

krazeeguy 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 8:56

guess this is what you get for not going to college... and if you were/are, I'm sure dog nuts were part of your plan all along.

klynhunter 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:13

lol, somethings gotta pay for tuition

zenti 2

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:40

Why have two people said something about the OP and college? Just because it's not a glamorous job it doesn't mean that the OP didn't go to college. Did you ever think that maybe it could just be a job that the OP is doing to pay for college stuff? Yes, I know that the OP did mention that, but please think about it. Just because you don't go to college it doesn't necessarily mean that you'll end up in a crappy job, and just because you do go to college it doesn't mean that you'll end up with the job of your dreams.

abcde_fz 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 9:48

I guess however many dog peens you touch during the day, you have to have that many dates that night?

s_tricka 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 13:33

I'm willing

danieyellie 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 14:00

become a waxer and do it to humans :p

Vlieto23 8

Thursday 16 December 2010 14:08

memo your effing stupid and I thought the friend of ninjas had a pretty funny comment, so go chew on a brick you pos

macskapingvin 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 14:16

It could be worse. You could work at the stables.

klynhunter 0

Thursday 16 December 2010 18:02

my op got edited, and yes I realized long ago that I was a dog groomer. I just realized how often I get through grooming and go, "crap, I still gotta do -that- part. don't be a douche, dude.