This is just wow wow and Holy ****

Uh. How long has this guy been around OP? And how long has the affair been going on? Because, if he's been around for more than two years, this sounds like a case of child grooming, and possibly worse. You really need to sit your daughter down and find out how long this has been going on, and how it started, because this sounds like it is very likely a case of emotional manipulation. Would probably be a good idea to inform any other parents with children in the same age group as your daughter about this, because this sounds like VERY predatory behavior, and if it is, he might have more victims. That said, it will likely be difficult to get straight answers from her if she HAS been groomed. Also, before anyone jumps down my throat about villainizing the guy and letting the daughter off the hook- she's 20. Brain development isn't finished until age 23, with risk assessment and things related to it- including morality- being one of the last things to finish development. The friend's husband, on the other hand, is very likely to be close to OP's age, putting him in most likely between the age of 35 and 50. Meaning that his brain is, barring a development disorder, fully developed, meaning he knew better and all the risks associated with it, but still contributed to the 'relationship.' Considering that pedophiles who do not develop the paraphilia as teenagers tend to develop it in their thirties, it sounds like this is very much a concern depending on how long OP has known him and when he was first introduced to OP's daughter. So I'm not blaming him because of his gender- I'm blaming him for being the older partner with someone who is still developing and still a very young adult, which throws the entire situation into suspicion.

That's horrible--my heart goes out to your friend. DEFINITELY tell her. In regards to your daughter, she obviously needs to be confronted about this behavior, but when you do so, please remember something: as a 20 year old girl, I can confirm we do some really stupid shit, especially when we have the opportunity to feel beautiful or mature. While what she did is much, much stupider than average, please remember that she's nowhere near done maturing as a person. Additionally, the fact that this is your best friend's husband implies two things (at least to me): the first is that he's probably at least twice as old as her and the second is that he's probably known her for a long time, maybe before she even turned eighteen. This doesn't come out of nowhere and so while it's not like your daughter is completely blameless, I would keep in mind that there's a good chance that she's been taken advantage of by a much older man who she trusts, especially if this has been going on for a while. Neither of them are innocent in this, but the difference is that your daughter is practically still a teenager while your friend's husband is a grown ass man who should ******* know better. Be angry with her, obviously, but please don't slip into the "vulnerable man seduced by evil girl" stereotype that Hollywood loves so much.

I mean, rat her out, but at least it's consenting adults.

Seems like the friend got replaced by someone younger and more efficient. Natural selection at its finest.

what did you say??!! *.*

Damn im sorry that happened op but i hope you told your friend