Love: Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri....

By Anonymous - 22/01/2015 06:41 - United States - Suwanee

Today, I caught my girlfriend Googling how to uninstall Siri. I asked why she wanted to do that, and she said, "I don't like it. I don't like how the slut talks to you." I get the feeling I'll need a gun when I break up with this crazy fucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 468

You deserved it 5 540

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 974

You deserved it 132

By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 249

You deserved it 5 867

By Anonymous - 14/11/2014 22:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out one of my girlfriend's recent Google searches was, "Should I admit to cheating or just dump him?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 590

You deserved it 2 594

Crazy ex

By Anonymous - 30/06/2023 10:00

Today, my girlfriend came up to me to ask me to have access to my Google account, just so she could delete all my photos then break up with me, saying I was in the wrong. She thought it was disrespectful for me to have a life outside of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 869

You deserved it 125

By aasatt22 - 08/06/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I bought my girlfriend an iPhone. I preloaded it with a bunch of cool apps and stuff and spent a lot and money. She used it to send a text to me 3 hours later saying that she thought we should break up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 880

You deserved it 8 695

By Jeff make - 01/04/2012 14:03 - United States - Malvern

Today, I called my girlfriend saying "I think we need to break up." She said "No, I don't think so," and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 416

You deserved it 34 469

By ddll - 05/09/2011 01:27 - Singapore

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 315

You deserved it 12 325

Jealousy

By Anonymous - 28/10/2018 14:00

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for refusing to stop talking to my female best friend. When I pointed out that my friend's a lesbian, she said, "How the hell does that change anything?" I have no idea why I'm not happy to be rid of that paranoid imbecile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 782

You deserved it 476

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 03/04/2023 13:00 - South Korea - Suwon

Today, my girlfriend caught me using Tinder behind her back and now she wants to break up with me. I begged her to stay, but now we're kinda in between a friendship and a relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 2 649

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

By Anonymous - 12/04/2021 02:00

Today, I dumped my girlfriend because she frequently wouldn't answer my texts or phone calls, and not call or message back for days. I felt that bringing it up made me a control freak. I couldn't take it anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 260

You deserved it 333

LunaaBluee 27

Thursday 22 January 2015 19:00

If you've begun to call her a 'crazy ******' then maybe you should break up with her now.

MrSassypants 32

Thursday 22 January 2015 18:58

Maybe you shouldn't have told Siri to call you by the name "Sex Machine".

Comments

buckdharma 36

Thursday 22 January 2015 19:13

Ask her to impersonate Siri and follow voice commands.

Remembered 14

Thursday 22 January 2015 19:14

It was the monotonous and mispronounced english that got you, wasn't it? Come on, man. Don't lie.

LeashaJoy5595 28

Thursday 22 January 2015 20:46

Completely unrelated, but I wanted to tell you that your mustache is totally epic.

Iceberg86300 14

Friday 23 January 2015 5:43

LOL. “FML, bringing together soulmates since January 2015.”

skyttlz 32

Saturday 24 January 2015 22:23

2009*

TommyG493 11

Thursday 22 January 2015 19:17

Why so sirious

buckdharma 36

Thursday 22 January 2015 19:17

11- So, you're saying she wasn't SERIous?

RobinGoodfellow 47

Thursday 22 January 2015 19:22

A gun? You sound about as crazy as she does.

LostInTheZone11 29

Thursday 22 January 2015 20:01

What's so wrong with defending yourself with a weapon. Reading many a crazy threatening ex story on this site, he's probably not wrong in needing one.