Health: Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her...

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 6 420

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Same thing different taste

By blargh - 03/10/2013 17:39 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 4 055

Not cool

By Wet - 21/06/2023 15:00

Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 3 943

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 4 262

Oh, hello…

By superclutz - 07/07/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

By crapedup - 10/10/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 3 077

By milkysubstance - 14/03/2017 05:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 129

You deserved it 496

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:08 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 075

You deserved it 5 499

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 22:08 - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 9 063

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 266

By unknown951 - 29/11/2010 07:11

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 4 764

aaronmk 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:13

If I had breasts.. I probably would have tried that ..

emmas03 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:08

shes warming them up for the little fella'

Comments

bennyq 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:20

That's awesome

RoseBearChild 10

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:21

She was probably trying to release some of the pressure and pain. Pregnancy can lead to sore breasts!

misstappy89 1

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:23

lmfao

squarecircles 13

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:29

Milk. It does a body good.

MadMax8706 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:42

Thats hot man just go with it

elchavo96 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:43

She's kinky damn

USAFchef 2

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:44

Hahaha

elchavo96 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:46

She's kinky damn

elchavo96 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:48

She's kinky damn

maccagirl 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:51

LMAO

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 182

Today, I asked my son to keep my new girlfriend secret from his mom until our divorce was final, and he ran straight to her. She told the judge I was unfaithful and wants more money from our settlement. My son doesn't give a shit about snitching on me, because she's giving him a percentage of the new settlement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 1 840

The Top

Today, after working another double shift because I want to buy my boyfriend a really expensive anniversary present, I get to his apartment to find him calculating in how many paychecks he'll be able to afford a Caribbean getaway. For himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 582

You deserved it 3 602

Today, it's my birthday. My spouse got into a fight, ending a relationship with a friend. They're laying around, unable to move due to panic attacks. I'm exhausted from being dragged unwillingly into things. The birthday messages feel like a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 149

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 485

Today, my brother was playing one of those old street fighter games. He suddenly asked me what "K.O." meant. I told him it meant "Knocked Out," but he started getting mad at me because "'knocked' isn't spelled with a 'k'". He's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 248

You deserved it 1 530

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 936

You deserved it 4 640

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house watching a home makeover show with her and her mom. The show's host had a giant portrait of himself on his wall and then I said, "I hate it when people do that, it's so stupid." Her mom stared at me and pointed to the portrait of my girlfriend on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 554

You deserved it 30 868

Same thing different taste

Not cool

Mommy milkers

Oh, hello…

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