Health: Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her...

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 293

You deserved it 6 420

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Same thing different taste

By blargh - 03/10/2013 17:39 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, at work, I was taking a woman's measurements while she held her screaming baby. To silence the infant, she whipped out her breast right there and started feeding him. Moments later, he puked breast milk all over my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 079

You deserved it 4 055

Not cool

By Wet - 21/06/2023 15:00

Today, a woman started breastfeeding her infant in a restaurant. Disgusted, I told her to take it to the bathroom, as I was eating. In response, she squirted me with milk then went back to ignoring me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 3 943

Mommy milkers

By Anonymous - 30/09/2009 05:17 - Malaysia

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 146

You deserved it 4 262

Oh, hello…

By superclutz - 07/07/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I left something in my boss's office. The door was closed which usually means she isn't in there, so I asked her coworker/friend for the key. When I opened the door, she screamed at me to get out of there. Turns out, she has just stopped breastfeeding her son and was pumping her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 434

You deserved it 21 179

By crapedup - 10/10/2011 23:11 - United States

Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 051

You deserved it 3 077

By milkysubstance - 14/03/2017 05:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to the doctor's to find out why I was producing small amounts of milky liquid from my nipples, even though I'm not pregnant. When she asked me to show her, I squirted on her shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 129

You deserved it 496

By Anonymous - 27/10/2013 16:08 - United States - Ballwin

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 075

You deserved it 5 499

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 22:08 - United States - Blue Earth

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 425

You deserved it 9 063

By reasonablysingle - 11/06/2016 03:27 - Australia - Greystanes

Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 373

You deserved it 1 266

By unknown951 - 29/11/2010 07:11

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 644

You deserved it 4 764

aaronmk 7

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:13

If I had breasts.. I probably would have tried that ..

emmas03 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 12:08

shes warming them up for the little fella'

Comments

ImDB8 0

Friday 16 September 2011 5:31

This is bad because……?

Celesticles 0

Friday 16 September 2011 5:32

Maybe she thought to herself " Oh look, Free milk ! " ?

christyk26 0

Friday 16 September 2011 6:22

At least she has boobs big enough to reach her mouth...

woodie64 0

Friday 16 September 2011 6:23

How is that a bad thing?

rwq891 4

Friday 16 September 2011 7:19

Cool. Dude. YouTube.

gamefreakpog 5

Friday 16 September 2011 7:31

I'm curious if it worked

wieli2888 0

Friday 16 September 2011 7:38

A new form of masturbation.

yusaku02 20

Friday 16 September 2011 7:49

I fail to see a problem here.

Eilonway 0

Friday 16 September 2011 8:38

That's fairly normal. I've done it, too.

Laxplayer1515 0

Friday 16 September 2011 8:49

Its a great source of calcium

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 885

You deserved it 61 098

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 045

You deserved it 27 983

Today, I got my husband a really expensive Bulova watch. He asked for brown. I got him a brown and gold leather watch. He said it looked to much like the cheap $10 watch in his collection and asked if I could exchange it. I can’t - no refunds. Now we are fighting because he can’t express his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 123

Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 127

You deserved it 6 758

Today, my girlfriend went on yet another long-winded rant about how dogs are family and should be treated as such, whilst stuffing her face with ribs. I asked her what the difference was between a dog and the pile of pig parts on her plate. Her only response was to call me a monster and dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 2 706

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 114

You deserved it 3 005

Today, I walked outside to get the newspaper and slipped on the icy driveway. Because I was wearing boxers and a robe, my legs got all scraped up. After much cursing, I got the paper and went inside. The headline read "Caution: Icy Conditions". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 208

You deserved it 9 137

Same thing different taste

Not cool

Mommy milkers

Oh, hello…

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