Kids: Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd... - FML

By DENTALITY - 23/05/2015 11:06 - Norway

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 3 668

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Same thing different taste

By Fffhjno - 28/09/2016 18:15 - United States - Providence

Today, I saw my two-year-old son trying to floss his teeth. He was using an earthworm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 118

You deserved it 1 196

What's this?

By laptitesouris - 31/03/2013 23:35 - France - Pertuis

Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 139

You deserved it 7 103

By snapped - 13/11/2009 04:19 - United States

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me if the tooth fairy was real. I said yes, and she said she wanted to try to catch her. Later, she pulled out a tooth and put it under her pillow. I came in to take out the tooth and replace it with money. There were mouse traps behind her pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 117

You deserved it 9 447

By shoelace18 - 06/09/2009 04:19 - Canada

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 886

You deserved it 5 972

Gummy

By madeleine - 08/04/2021 05:00

Today, I caught my young daughter eating candy after brushing her teeth. Angry, I asked her if she wanted all her teeth to fall out. She smiled and said, “Yes!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 292

By Anonymous - 20/04/2013 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 056

You deserved it 7 066

Felt cute, might delete myself later

By being a fairy is hard - 28/10/2021 08:00

Today, my daughter lost a tooth. I wanted to make the Tooth Fairy experience extra special, so I dipped her doll's feet in paint to leave “tracks” from the window to her bed. As I was adding the finishing touches and spreading glitter, I tripped on a toy, faceplanted and lost my own tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 141

You deserved it 393

By Anonymous - 13/11/2018 13:30

Today, a few months after my son lost a canine tooth, he went to get a replacement fitted. He came home with his other canine tooth removed and both replaced by vampire fangs. Permanent vampire fangs in his mouth, where people can see them and judge me for being a bad parent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 896

You deserved it 671

By Maxwell - 04/02/2010 10:47 - France

Today, my 4 year old son thought it was funny to put money in the shredder. He stuck over 500 dollars in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 16 775

By G. Briones - 23/11/2011 19:14

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 871

You deserved it 7 010

Next

Top comments

SinfulTragedy 19

Sunday 24 May 2015 6:02

Future businessman.

theTravinator 21

Sunday 24 May 2015 6:01

I think he misunderstood the meaning of "money shot"

Comments

Mightytall 35

Sunday 24 May 2015 8:05

Next he's going to try and sell a kidney online for some cash... I wonder how much money the tooth fairy put under his pillow, may have been a bit too much, if he went this far to get more.

Catdragon 40

Sunday 24 May 2015 8:44

when I was around age 5, I ripped out my back teeth so I could get money. I succeeded 4 times. they weren't even loose and I just dug and twisted them out. gotta be careful at what you tell your kids.

Jord_Fox 14

Sunday 24 May 2015 9:19

Sounds like this kid needs a lesson in fantasy fast

igg125 30

Sunday 24 May 2015 10:45

Your fault for telling him there was such thing.

Dr_Lily_fml 17

Sunday 24 May 2015 11:23

Haha your username! :D

bleedingglitter 24

Sunday 24 May 2015 11:37

Best user name of the day.

Vakama00 13

Sunday 24 May 2015 13:27

I did that in 4th grade.

ScottLucky 18

Sunday 24 May 2015 13:34

We need a follow up on this 1

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 24 May 2015 15:05

I sure hope they were his baby teeth...

zombiekiller52 24

Sunday 24 May 2015 17:12

How old is he?!

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The Top

Today, I was jogging in the neighborhood. My new neighbor who lives three houses down clotheslines me and shouts, "You're the reason my wife won't have sex with me!" He then kicked me in the stomach and walked inside. Now I'm scared to leave my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 658

You deserved it 3 777

Today, making small talk with my coworkers, I said a restaurant I'd tried recently was "superb". They all gave me weird looks, and one said, "Someone's trying too hard to sound smart." Now I've got a rep as a pseudo-intellectual douchebag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 109

The Top

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 201

Today, my ex asked me to take the kids for the day, which was odd as it's her weekend. My son let slip that she was getting ready for a surprise birthday party, but I wasn't supposed to know. As it's my birthday in 3 days, I was touched that she'd planned something. Turns out it's a surprise party for her new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 980

You deserved it 491

Today, it seems that I can't enjoy one fucking weekend without my mom finding work for me to do to take up my time, and I'm sick of it! FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 290

Today, while walking my dog in the darkness, I bent down to pick up his poop. I screamed like a little girl as his morning turd leapt up my arm, covering my hand and jacket sleeve in soggy poop. My dog had curled one out onto a dozing frog. I skipped breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 612

You deserved it 646

Today, I had what I thought would be an important (and formal) interview. Not only did I turn up completely overdressed, the man who was interviewing me arrived 30 minutes late. To top it all off, I was so distracted by his mysterious total lack of eyebrows that I forgot everything I had to say. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 274

You deserved it 524

Today, one of my super obnoxious coworkers tried to snitch on me and record me for “being lazy” on the clock. I was sitting in my car, while eating trail mix ON MY BREAK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 891

You deserved it 110