Miscellaneous: Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette....

By kaycie_lynn - 19/02/2010 01:11 - United States

Today, I chuckled at a "No Smoking" sign as I lit my cigarette. I bent my head down to light it and somehow managed to light my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 770

You deserved it 71 617

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Same thing different taste

This is lit

By a genius - 12/02/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, I lit a cigarette in the opposite direction of the wind. My hair blew into it, and caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 909

You deserved it 60 289

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 607

You deserved it 15 134

By RingofFire - 03/06/2016 23:23 - United States - Edenville

Today, I was standing on the patio when one of my upstairs neighbors threw a cigarette butt over the balcony. It landed on my head and burned some of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 295

You deserved it 1 750

Smoke 'em while you can

By OuttaNowhere81 - 15/05/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I was smoking a cigarette in my backyard while my parents were out, because I'm not allowed to smoke. While smoking, my parents came home unexpectedly. In a rush, I flicked it over the fence, and it landed in my neighbor's hair. It was still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 628

You deserved it 73 909

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 430

You deserved it 1 279

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 053

You deserved it 6 601

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 04:28 - United States

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 158

You deserved it 5 786

By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 925

You deserved it 45 104

By Anonymous - 22/01/2017 18:00

Today, I quit smoking cigarettes. While driving to work, the car in front of me flicked his out the window, flying straight into mine. It set the bottom of my seat on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 402

You deserved it 550

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

JassyJas 2

Friday 19 February 2010 9:17

Karma...is a BITCH, she always gets to you first!

BM13HC 0

Friday 19 February 2010 9:18

YDI for not obeying the sign >:(

Comments

NoOneCaresXD 0

Monday 18 July 2011 11:41

damn what a bad ass! =o

little_metalbear 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 22:42

karma!

EvilCupcake8361 9

Monday 15 August 2011 4:47

word to yo mama!

VerTicalSnipes 5

Wednesday 17 August 2011 3:03

Score:karma 1. Idiot who will die soon 0.

4everFastpitch5 2

Monday 22 August 2011 1:46

Karma's a bitch huh?

evalynmohr 9

Thursday 25 August 2011 17:59

That's what you get for chuckling. Only guys chuckle.

Kendall_Cali97 8

Monday 5 September 2011 1:29

YDI and what if someone who was allergic to it happened to be near!?! (my doctor told me I was yesterday) KARMAS A B**** >:)))

This_war_is_ours 0

Saturday 10 September 2011 19:00

ironic xD

biteme94 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 15:12

Stop smoking your cancer stick. A gun is way faster then what your putting your body through.

madaoxsan 9

Tuesday 27 September 2011 0:23

@22... actually that'd be more like a Richard Pryor...but thanks for playing!

Keywords

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I agree, your life sucks 25 315

You deserved it 2 040

Today, it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend. He's been texting me every time he found a bobby pin at his house that belonged to me, saying we should both see it as a sign of us belonging together. If he keeps this up every time he finds one, the texts will probably never stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 096

You deserved it 880

The Top

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 571

You deserved it 12 431

Today, I realized that I hadn't shaved in so long that when the wind blew, the hairs on my legs moved in the breeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 857

You deserved it 49 474

Today, I got a phone call from my cheating ex, asking if I would go out with him tonight. After 3 years of no contact, I decided to give him another chance and gave him my address for his GPS. I was then told that I lived too far and he didn't want to drive. He cancelled. I live 15 minutes away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 870

You deserved it 28 227

Today, a coworker told me she may be in love with me. I admitted similar feelings and we agreed, since we're both happily married, not to spend time together anymore. Two hours later we were both promoted to run the same project, where we'll be "working hand in glove for the next couple of years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 408

You deserved it 14 979

Today, at a strategy session, my manager displayed a flowchart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 767

You deserved it 2 452

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 333

You deserved it 11 284