By Anonymous - 15/02/2010 13:28 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 447
You deserved it 4 514

Same thing different taste

Top comments

What a jerk! Sorry OP, hopefully you'll find someone who will appreciate you for yourself not sex :(

putting your faith in god has nothing to do withthe fact that he pumped n dumped her. iIt has everything to do with that guy is an ass hole

Comments

katiebabe93 0

wow I'm sorryy haha first time always shityy

that guy was a dick u should get someone u kno to kick his ass, like me lol

perdix 29

I doubt the guy knew she was a virgin. Maybe they never discussed it, but maybe she lied and told him she was sexually experienced. For me, it would be a huge turn-on to find out my girlfriend was a virgin and that I get to train her in the ways of sex and love. Of course, I'd expect her to be lousy at first, but observing her improvement would be very exciting.

xundria 5

You must have had better experiences than me. The last virgin I was with turned into a ****, a year and a half of my life later I find out she cheated on me multiple times.

xundria 5

Also, I doubt he didn't know because unless it's true that not all girls bleed when their hyeman is broken, she would have bled. That is ofcourse if he wasn't 4" on hard and terrible in bed.

perdix 29

The whole thing about hymens breaking and bleeding at the loss of virginity is kind of obsolete. Now that girls are involved in vigorous activity, like sports, they often don't have an intact hymen when they reach their first sexual encounter. And, yes, there is a danger that once you teach a virgin your whole bag of tricks, she may want to try out her skills on new poles. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

xundria 5

Well thanks for that education. =p

Every time you teach one well you make some lucky bastard's life that much better. Of course when she goes 2 knuckles deep in his touch hole during a BJ he will also wonder "just where the hell did she learn that?"

sourgirl101 28

Bag of tricks! Are you Felix the cat? Haha

perdix 29

CMH, "two knuckles deep in the touch hole?". That's instantly one of my new favorite phrases like "I'm going to beat it like it owes me money" and "plumpa humpa!" Thanks for the continuing education!

Just returning the favor, you give me a chuckle or two more often than not. I'd really like to be there when you work that one into a conversation.

Just returning the favor, you give me a chuckle or two more often than not. I'd love to be around when you slide that one into a converstion.

I don't think he thought that was a very funny joke.

he's a flop, you should have waited and given your virginity to someone who respects you. oh and why was there wet stuff on the bed that's discusting, keep it clean, I wouldn't stay either if you asked that question, you could of changed the sheets or flipped the mattress.. I'm stuck between a ydi and a fyl!!

PurpleKuSh_fml 0

Nothing new. I know too many females who do the same thing to guys...like the resident hypocrite, number 16. Sucks to be you right now, but chances are, having had this done to you, you're bound to join the number of those who do this same thing. Gotta taste the medicine before you dish it out. Still, FYL.

shls062167 0

Call him in a month and tell him you are PG. Let him shit a Twinkie. For the future, wait!