Miscellaneous: Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that...

By anon - 10/11/2012 21:14 - United States - Kent

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 092

You deserved it 2 241

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Same thing different taste

By pizzagurl - 09/05/2009 04:43 - United States

Today, while working at a pizza shop near a college campus, I got an order to deliver to the dorms. Extremely busy at work and annoyed that someone wouldn't take 3 minutes to walk over, I spat on the pizza. When I arrived to the dorm, a woman in a wheelchair opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 198

You deserved it 274 483

By Anonymous - 27/05/2015 14:21 - Mexico

Today, some guy I passed in the street was so high out of his mind, he beat the crap out of me, thinking I was a piñata. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 2 811

Thanks!

By Yuri - 29/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I opened the door to a pizza delivery guy. I hadn't order any, but I thought maybe my roommate had. As he handed me the box, I said, "Thanks, you too" when he told me to enjoy my meal. He stopped, looked confused, and said, "Wait, what?" before leaving. I then realized my roommate was out of town and I’d just taken someone else’s pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 352

By cutiecuppiecakez - 29/02/2016 21:04 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend got so baked, he thought I was in the washing machine. I came downstairs to find him sitting in a puddle of soaking wet clothes, crying about where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 032

You deserved it 3 035

Deep dish

By Grauncho - 22/09/2012 14:12 - United States - Chicago

Today, while dog sitting my neighbor's Great Dane, I decided to order pizza. As soon as I received it, the dog stood in the hallway staring at me. As soon as I moved, he ran full force and knocked me into the door, causing me to fall and drop the pizza, which he promptly devoured in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 726

You deserved it 3 617

By has-evil-friends - 26/11/2009 20:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I had six friends round for pizza. When I went to answer the door to the delivery, my friends turned off the lights and pretended they weren't there when I shouted for help carrying all the food. Not only does the cute delivery guy think I'm greedy, but also that I have imaginary friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 713

You deserved it 3 624

Nice try, Karen

By munchkin77 - 15/12/2021 20:01

Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 85

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 850

You deserved it 773

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 22:34 - United States

Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 262

You deserved it 3 090

fancymega 7

Sunday 11 November 2012 2:16

Maralize legajuana

AbstraktThoughts 13

Sunday 11 November 2012 2:16

Chill with him, eat his pizza? ;) he won't remember it.

Comments

twloha94 9

Sunday 11 November 2012 8:33

Don't see how this is a **** OP's life.

Jobby 11

Sunday 11 November 2012 10:17

That. Is. Awesome.

yenidewi 11

Sunday 11 November 2012 11:36

hahahahhahahahaha ....

DaDivineDevil 11

Sunday 11 November 2012 12:32

Haha so how'd he pay you?

Rocky007 15

Sunday 11 November 2012 15:34

Welcome to the world of legalized drugs.

Monkey6661 2

Sunday 11 November 2012 16:41

How did he get to the pizza to eat it?

Kiyaralovestolol 14

Sunday 11 November 2012 17:22

Of course! Washington and Colorado are done for!

omart3 6

Sunday 11 November 2012 18:40

That's when you call the cops on them

noelykins1 19

Sunday 11 November 2012 19:05

How did I know this would be in Washington? Damn it I knew legalizing marijuana was a bad idea. Too bad no one listened.

needsagf14 12

Sunday 11 November 2012 19:51

Allow me to compensate for your tip then

Keywords

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The Top

Today, mid-sex, my wife told me to call her a nasty slut. I was kind of uncomfortable doing it, but I did it to make her horny. She started crying, because she didn’t realise how much it would hurt her feelings. Now I’m not sure if she’s mad at me or herself, but I’m scared either way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 280

Today, my husband returned from a 6-week business trip. During that time, I put myself on a very strict diet/exercise regimen so I could surprise him with a hefty weight loss. He took one look at me and demanded to know who I was fucking on the side. Yeah, because that’s the only reason I lost weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 132

You deserved it 226

The Top

Today, I woke up to a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I jumped out of bed in panic and rushed into the bathroom, only to see my sister limping around in the nude. She'd just jumped out of the shower because someone had flushed the toilet downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 334

You deserved it 4 321

Today, I was at the lake with my family. I was drinking from a can of soda but didn't realize a bee flew into the can. I didn't swallow it, but I now have Kylie Jenner's lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 819

You deserved it 1 001

Today, I placed sticky mouse traps in my bedroom. it's now 12:05 a.m. and I've successfully caught a mouse. Too bad I'm scared of them and my husband is passed out asleep. I now get to listen to a mouse squeak all night and have to be up in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 913

You deserved it 6 559

Today, I saw my mom naked as she came out of the shower. I realized that's the first time I've ever seen a naked woman. I'm a 24 year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 962

You deserved it 13 576

Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 222

You deserved it 3 480

Today, while in a hospital waiting room, a man started talking to me. After a few minutes, he asked me what I did for a living, and I said I'm a stay-at-home mom. He looked me up and down and said, "Huh. No life ambitions, huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 482

You deserved it 7 605

Same thing different taste

Thanks!

Deep dish

Nice try, Karen

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