Health: Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than...

By MsConfusedd - 09/08/2012 14:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 787

You deserved it 1 949

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By UUUGHHH - 05/02/2016 20:33 - France - Villejuif

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth, and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 170

You deserved it 2 718

Food for thought

By Michael - 20/03/2021 05:02 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while assisting my 2 year-old with potty training, she stuck her hand in her own poop, and when I wasn't expecting it, put her fingers in my mouth. Ever wondered what a green blowout tastes like? I don't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 174

By Anonymous - 15/09/2013 21:16 - United States - Dover

Today, my grandmother opened the bathroom door to find me eating a spoonful of Nutella while on the toilet. She is convinced that I was eating my own shit and will not stop telling everybody. They believe her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 44 216

Kids are gross

By Shawn - 28/03/2021 05:01

Today, I taught my 18 month-old daughter to wipe the green, snotty mucus from under her nose with a tissue. To which, like a ninja, she then wiped my open-mouthed upper lip with that same snotty tissue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 828

You deserved it 195

By Snotmyfault - 11/01/2009 14:33 - United States

Today, at the age of 22, I started eating my boogers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 571

You deserved it 49 377

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 282

You deserved it 3 004

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 148

You deserved it 589

Inspection time

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 05:01 - United States - Monterey

Today, my grandmother made a rule that every time we take a crap, she has to examine the turds to make sure they aren't big enough to clog up the pipes. I don't know what's worse: that she looks at my turds, or the fact that she actively comments on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 272

You deserved it 3 615

By slapstick1982 - 31/12/2016 17:25 - United States - Ashford

Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 006

You deserved it 178

By ManchotDesAndes - 26/02/2015 07:35 - France - Bezons

Today, my 3-year-old daughter came along, pointing a finger at me. I pretended to eat it by putting it in my mouth. She then said to me with disgust, "Why are you eating my booger?" Ah, that explains the saltiness… FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 11 166

Glitterhinoceros 14

Thursday 9 August 2012 18:59

I might have just vomited a bit.

dankpotatoes 2

Thursday 9 August 2012 18:59

The salty ones are always the best

Comments

learningtodrive 12

Friday 10 August 2012 5:18

That sounds like my grandma. I hate her.

awkward_gothlady 32

Friday 10 August 2012 6:05

It's going to take awhile to get rid of that mental picture...

love1026 6

Friday 10 August 2012 6:28

I was picking my nose while reading this... :

Pandasaurus 14

Friday 10 August 2012 6:45

da fuq..

boofybluth 6

Friday 10 August 2012 7:46

I was just picking mine doeeee

BiChelsea 6

Friday 10 August 2012 9:37

Wait.. Green? Doesn't green mean infection? I think I'm gonlig I throw up now. P.s. I used proper grammar so don't bitch at me!

bobplayshockey 0

Saturday 11 August 2012 1:14

Cleveland voice- "oh, thats nasty..."

OneLessScarecrow 6

Saturday 11 August 2012 12:44

Yep, I vomited alright.

Rainadeer 2

Thursday 16 August 2012 17:38

On my god your wording for this just makes it that much more disgusting.

foxychik10704 17

Friday 19 July 2013 18:11

Darn I was eating

Keywords

Family Miscellaneous DIY Cats Awkward Management Poopoo peepee Work Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Frustration Dogs Animals ADHD Transportation Dating Love Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy Confused AITA Parents

The Top

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 635

You deserved it 42 712

Today, I ran into my ex at the mall. He’s married, with a 2 year-old. Three years ago he ended our 6-year relationship because he said he didn’t believe in marriage and kids. Sorry for not being good enough to achieve those things with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 224

The Top

The darkness calls...

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 105

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 483

You deserved it 1 792

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 738

You deserved it 3 969

Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 953

You deserved it 3 640

Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 482

You deserved it 55 376

Same thing different taste

Food for thought

Kids are gross

Inspection time

Top comments

Comments