Intimacy: Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob.... - FML

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 657

You deserved it 21 052

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 709

You deserved it 868

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Spicy

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 315

By fatcheeks - 02/03/2010 16:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 4 184

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 215

You deserved it 24 091

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 333

You deserved it 429

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 994

You deserved it 62 530

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 316

You deserved it 33 856

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Spicy

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 27 435

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 475

You deserved it 768

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 6 802

Next

Top comments

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:06

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

NitroTonicsFML 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:18

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Comments

luvlyric 5

Monday 24 October 2011 0:05

Damn nature, you scary.

zues70 4

Monday 24 October 2011 0:32

God bless u for trying...dont give up!...NEVER GIVE UP!!!

libsloveslife 7

Monday 24 October 2011 0:54

same!

alloveryourface8 2

Monday 24 October 2011 0:57

Good work! Can you come teach my girlfriend through demonstration?

Eilonway 0

Monday 24 October 2011 1:14

I modded this and reading it again, it still makes me laugh so hard. You must be on dedicated fellator.

Eilonway 0

Monday 24 October 2011 1:18

*one dedicated fellator

HomeAl0ne 20

Monday 24 October 2011 1:45

Was it general girth that unhinged you, or did Rover develop a knot?

alexa98 0

Monday 24 October 2011 2:24

Holy crap haha

torianab 7

Monday 24 October 2011 2:25

That really caSucks_chick!!!

IanCosentino 0

Monday 24 October 2011 2:29

Holy ****... You're boyfriend has got to be either the proudest man alive... Or you ****** up and hurt both yourselves. With you in more pain, obviously.

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Keywords

Love Cheating Work Money Relatable My ex Jealousy Accident Health Medication ADHD Snow Weather Miscellaneous Awkward Embarrassing Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts

The Top

Today, while driving home, I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw that my three-year-old daughter had managed to get out of her seat and had crawled to the back window. I pulled over and strapped her in again. Five minutes later she was back at the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 219

You deserved it 5 961

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, my new girlfriend has a purse dog, a chihuahua. The thing is so small, I didn’t see it, tripped over it, and my knee broke its back. It had to be put down. I don’t have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 137

You deserved it 370

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 327

You deserved it 3 264

Today, I was chosen out of 64 women to model for the catalog of a new clothing store. Just when my self-confidence took a dramatic boost, I looked at the evaluation sheet. I was picked due to attributes such as my "extra large figure and average face" to make below average women feel beautiful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 498

You deserved it 4 646

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend whom I love dearly because he doesn't share his feelings and won't commit. Yesterday, he wrote me a long love letter telling me he wanted to marry me. One of my kids had shoved it under my printer and I didn't find it until after he had moved out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 408

You deserved it 11 712

Today, I lost my $100 in cash that I had to use to pay my phone bill. As a result, my phone got cut off and I missed an important call for an apartment that I was looking at. When I went to work, I heard my boss saying how lucky she was to find $100 in cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 106

You deserved it 5 938

Today, my wife told me the only reason she doesn’t want kids is because she requires privacy to poop. That’s it. That’s the dealbreaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 285