By perenoel - 03/12/2011 16:24 - France

Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks 62 020
You deserved it 6 153
Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

eminemop 0

Whisper back: "and I wanted a boy, but that didn't happen either."

673 12

Comments

Justforlolz 14

I dunno, you probably should poke some airholes into the bag if you want him to survive a trip around the world. Otherwise it might get messy.

12 50
Savra_fml 17

What? I have no idea as to what you want to say.

25 5
criminalmindsfan 0

He means if you want the new dad to survive dumbass

7 26
Philliesfan9391 3

What's with the airholes in the bag part then?

6 7
MrsLaferriere 0

So that the new dad can breathe.

16 4
Philliesfan9391 3

In what? The guy is in a santa costume. If he put some random guy in a bag he would be arrested for kidnapping or something...

10 5
MrsLaferriere 0

Santa brings wrapped presents. Some presents are placed into decorative bags instead of wrapped in paper. The daughter asked for a new dad. The original commenter stated that air holes should be placed in the bag. Things that are alive and given as presents need to have air holes in the packaging to allow them to breathe. This signifies that Santa is bringing her new father in a bag for Christmas. Was that spelled out enough for you?

35 4
Justforlolz 14

Ok, because some people can't seem to understand my comment, I'll explain. Assuming that OP is really Santa(joke), If he were to put the "new dad" in his sack-o-toys, there would be a lack of space and oxygen, so the dad would suffocate. After a merry ride around the world, the "new dad" would probably be dead. Holy ****, it's not that hard to understand. Is it hard to think a little?

22 8
farhil 14

I think he was talking about the bag that Santa carries his gifts in. Let's all just agree that it was a lame joke and move along.

12 4
perdix 29

Everyone knows that a new dad doesn't come in a bag -- he comes in a box. Mommy's, that is ;)

28 5
ShroomsOnAcid 16

Wow, where are everyone's brains today? It's one thing to think the joke is lame, it's another thing to be unable to understand it when it's so obvious. 49 Completely missed the point of making a JOKE.

11 5
criminalmindsfan 0

Can't argue with retards though, it's like to talking to a bran muffin and expecting it to say something intelligent back.

13 12
FarSide 22

Holy ****. Is it so difficult for you to string a comprehensive sentence together??

2 2
mrosew442 10

74- it would be amazing if a bran muffin said ANYTHING back!

2 1
alival 12

-83 what's your deal? You r being bitter and insulting and just flat out rude! And do u think people with mental disabilities can help that they're like that? U r a jerk

6 5
ladysman95 2

Canada sucks!!!!! USA!!!!!!!!!!

0 6
KiddNYC1O 20

That's rather depressing... Sorry.

14 7
UrCapsLockOn 12

well, will u be able to make this possible, SANTA ....

6 8
rainbowbigbird 7

That broke my heart for you. I have a little girl, too. I am sorry OP.

40 3
heyhihello95 12

Well that's what you get for deceiving your own kid...

6 42
KiddNYC1O 20

It's called keeping the spirit of Christmas alive.

11 1
1bluesky1 6

At least she was quiet about it. You taught her manners.(;

39 4
rallets 22

kids say the darndest things

16 22
brwneyes22 0

That is so very sad maybe you should talk to her about it?

21 3
xcarxcrashx 9

I agree. Obvs there is some sort of problem. I think op is actually lucky. He gets to find out early on (I am assuming she's pretty young if she believes in Santa) that there is a problem to fix before she becomes a teenager and is totally out of control.

11 1
stevenmx86 7

Aw that is awful op. Maybe this is a chance to change?

6 7
sheethapins 13

Tell her: "Good, so I don't have to buy you presents this year after all?"

29 3