Intimacy: Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML - FML

By hjkashld - 24/04/2012 01:48 - United States

Spicy

Today, I faked back pain to get out of sex with my wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 534

You deserved it 36 499

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Same thing different taste

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 095

You deserved it 7 596

I suck

By Anonymous - 18/02/2023 12:00

Today, I sucked so bad that I faked an injury during a football game to get out of playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 635

By virgo - 30/01/2010 06:50 - France

Spicy

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 243

You deserved it 6 556

By hnickell93 - 10/12/2012 18:37 - United States - Visalia

Spicy

Today, I realized that sex with my husband has gotten so boring that I'd rather fake an orgasm than let him continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 865

You deserved it 12 852

By blarghhhh - 28/02/2016 14:58 - United States - Owosso

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 063

You deserved it 1 383

Pull yourself together

By k8thagr8 - 01/03/2015 02:47 - United States - Virginia Beach

Spicy

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 274

You deserved it 3 976

By shouldabeenapornstar - 17/03/2010 15:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, I decided to fake it when my husband and I were making love. Afterwards, he told me that he could tell my head was "really in the game" and felt a stronger connection with me now and was glad I opened up and "let go" with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 237

You deserved it 40 437

By Anonymous - 18/01/2014 22:55 - United States - Somerset

Spicy

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 64 584

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 17/12/2014 20:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 492

You deserved it 3 049

Deception

By Anonymous - 08/03/2021 01:59

Today, I found out my husband was faking his leg injury. I caught him out and about walking just fine, hand in hand with another woman. I’ve been caring for him, holding down the bills, and taking him to an "at home" chiropractor for the past 7 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 95

Next

Top comments

kzxvazure 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:27

just say no....

HSOMGF 5

Tuesday 24 April 2012 7:33

That back pain is probably related to your lack of spine. And really, **** HER life. She deserves better.

Comments

MDTeddy 13

Tuesday 24 April 2012 11:18

You rubbed one before hand didn't you?

PYLrulz 17

Tuesday 24 April 2012 11:56

Al Bundy?!?

MigraineurOfLife 15

Tuesday 24 April 2012 15:08

Awww... Peg! ~shakes his head~ Not again!

Loly19 8

Tuesday 24 April 2012 12:15

If she's not getting it from you, she'll gonna get it elsewhere, so... Talk or man up

I_Punch_Babies 7

Tuesday 24 April 2012 12:38

doesnt matter had abstinence

BecomeMine 0

Tuesday 24 April 2012 13:17

Woah, Woah, Woah you didn't want to have sex, weird since that's what all my ex- boyfriends thought about.....

bigdog57_fml 9

Tuesday 24 April 2012 13:22

Doesn't matter I had sex

williamcarter93 13

Tuesday 24 April 2012 13:27

tell her no. And I wouldn't say she deserves better, either. Men and Women do that. Yes, it's dumb, but to end a marriage over that is stupid. No wonder relationships don't last long now anymore.

williamcarter93 13

Tuesday 24 April 2012 13:28

you never met any, then. Men aren't all the sex fiends the media portrays them as.

jaytee1994 9

Tuesday 24 April 2012 13:30

Wow. Is she that horrible?? Dude that sucks for you

williamcarter93 13

Tuesday 24 April 2012 13:30

we ain't. Not by a hell of a long shot.

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Messy Miscellaneous Relatable Dad jokes Awkward Holidays Embarrassing Swimming pool Party Work Cute Kids Christmas Family Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Love Ironic Health Annoying Haircut Hair I need your advice Parents Money Gifts Lonely Cars Drunk

The Top

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off." She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 831

You deserved it 3 129

Today, it's been a week my husband started pouting since I gave birth to our third and final baby, who is also our third boy. He’s pouting that he didn’t get the daughter he wanted. It’s so cute watching him sulk, but he’s also a pain in the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 242

The Top

Today, like every day, I scrolled through my social media feeds, seeing happy couples, people buying houses and landing their dream jobs. I, on the other hand, am a single 23 year-old man in a dead end job, who still lives with his parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 630

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 929

You deserved it 74 577

Today, the principal of the school I teach at told me she's not interested in re-hiring me because sometimes I wear a hoodie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 544

You deserved it 6 298

Today, I was in Walmart. I saw a demo for Guitar Hero on the DS so I started playing. I was kicking ass and really feeling great about myself. I then looked away for a second, looked back down, and saw that the notes were still being hit. The demo had been on automatic-player the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 090

You deserved it 65 947

Today, I drove two hours to secretly buy an antique book my wife has been looking for for 30 years since her childhood copy was lost in a house fire. There was one other guy there interested in buying it, we were both cash buyers but with one difference: I was the one who forgot his wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 336

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 639

You deserved it 27 306